one thing i am not: worried about a number.
i had a really weird dream last night.
okay, i have weird dreams nearly every night, but this one i am going to talk about. do you usually have dreams that have something to do with your day or week or things that have happened in your life? i do. always. it makes sense, right? what doesn’t make sense is the way your brain decides to take random bits of your day and turn them into a crazy chain of events. i have always said i wish i had a dream recorder. someone, please, invent one! playing back my dreams would be so freaking rad.
anyway, my dream.
a little background first:
on monday, i went to the gastroenterologist (story for another day.. promise) and they wanted to weigh me.
well, i don’t weigh myself.
if you weigh yourself, great. i don’t think there is a single thing wrong with using the scale.. i know it is a valuable tool for many people. but for me? it isn’t. i haven’t weighed myself for a very long time—i didn’t think i had weighed myself since spring of 2009, but i recently found an old notebook that had my weight written down in march of 2010 when i was attempting some “pre-wedding challenge”.. so i am guessing that is the last time i hopped on the scale. (i know, for a fact, that nothing ever came of that challenge and i didn’t weigh myself after the initial weigh in and my wedding day was perfectly fabulous and i looked banging and have no idea how much i weighed.)
weighing myself makes me crazy.
i know i am healthy, i know i am not under or overweight, so nitpicking a number really isn’t in my best interest. i have learned that my weight can fluctuate as much TEN pounds from morning to night. (i drink a gallon of water a day and eat a lot of food—no wonder!) i have learned that caring about that number isn’t healthy for my brain. i have learned that i like the way i feel and the way i look—focusing on food and fitness is what works best for me.
so—back to the doc’s office on monday. i told them no when they wanted to weigh me, and that was that. it was not the end of the world. they went on and documented all my other info. i had my appointment and went on my way.
fast forward to last night. i had a dream last night that i was having a dream. aren’t those so weird? in my dream (the dream that was in my dream, mind you—straight up inception here, folks), i dreamt that i weighed myself at the gym and i was 115. no idea where that number came from or why i was weighing myself at the gym—something i have never done even in my weighing days, but that’s what went down in the ol’ dream within a dream.
when i woke up from my dream (still in my dream) i went to the bathroom and said to myself, “wow, what a strange dream. i must have dreamt that because of my doc appointment the other day.” i looked down and there was a scale on my bathroom floor. i decided to hop on to see if my dream was right, and the scale read 150. again, no idea where that came from.. i have never been 150. after i saw the 150, i remember thinking (still in my dream) “weird. 35 pounds heavier than in my dream. no big deal, i look the same and feel the same as i did in my dream at 115.. that’s what matters.”
dang. i am one smart dreamer! and how weird that i said that to myself in my dream. i remember it so vividly! i woke up this morning and recounted the dream. i smiled, because my dreaming self was right. whether i weigh 115 or 150, i look and feel great.. so who cares? not me.
i just thought that dream was so random and rad, i had to share it.
another thing i am not: baby hungry.
first of all, let’s get one thing straight: i hate the term “baby hungry”. it always makes me think about physically eating babies and cannibalism just isn’t my thing. while we are at it, let it be known that i also hate the term “food baby.”
my bosses and co-workers had a baby shower today for my cute co-worker crystal. this is baby #3 for her!
this is also GIRL #3 for her! what are the odds? (apparently, pretty good, since there are 4 girls and zero boys among her siblings.)
we went to red butte cafe (on foothill drive in salt lake city) for the shower.
i dolled up the table a bit with some baby girl decor.
as crystal opened her gifts, i realized more and more that i just DON’T have the desire to have babies any time soon. i mean, i have always felt this way, but whenever i am at a baby shower or around people who are talking about babies, the feeling is even more present. i try to imagine myself with a baby and i just don’t see it. i actually feel really out of place when i am holding a baby.. i don’t like it. i always talk to people who CANNOT WAIT to be a mom. i am perfectly happy being a dog-mom.
so.. is it just supposed to click one day? i am positive that i won’t wake up on a sunny thursday in 2013 and suddenly want to get pregnant… but i am wondering if that maternal desire is ever going to strike me.
it is really common for people in utah to have children early in life (and getting married in your early 20’s is totally the norm), so i do catch a lot of slack from certain people. they tell me i am getting too old to have kids and i am an “old maid”.. um, i am 28. i’m good.
i know that i DO want to have a family. my family is a huge part of my life and i know the relationship i have with my mom is one i would like to share with a child of my own. but that whole baby thing just scares me. i am definitely not “there”—wherever that exactly may be.
anyway, those are my thoughts on baby making. back to the shower!
i was torn between the red trout salad and one of the specials, but the waiter pointed out that the trout would always be there and to get the special. good call, waiter.
this was a grilled salmon with artichoke tapenade served over an heirloom tomato panzanella salad with a balsamic vinaigrette. (i know. long title). um, if you live near salt lake city, get your mouth into red butte right away and order this salad special. it was incredible.
the shower was fun and although the baby talk was minimal and i was only asked if i was baby hungry once, it still reinforced the fact that i am in no way ready to have a child. BUT i am so happy for crystal and all the other baby-makin’ mommas to be out there! i love my nieces, nephews and other little nuggets that i am not responsible for… and it will probably stay that way for awhile.
there ya go. two things i am not. now you know.
in other news, i am LOVING all the better breakfast submissions that are rolling in! if you missed the challenge, check it out here. you have until october 1st to email me a submission. to up the ante, i am adding two free breakfast food coupons to the prize pack:
wooo. to see the rest of the prize pack, head to the original post. i am not big on reposting things over and over.
Qs~
1. what is one thing you are not?
2. feel free to discuss your opinion on my two topics: scales and babies. totally optional but encouraged if you want to share your piece.
xo. janetha g.
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I would say when I wanted to start having babies I felt my biological clock ticking. I wasn’t “baby hungry”, but I knew I wanted kids and I wasn’t getting any younger. It took me FIVE years to get pregnant, and if I would have known that I probably would have started a bit sooner. Enjoy your time with your hub’s! I was married 7 years before I got pregnant, and I think it has made the transition from 2 to 3 a LOT easier. I also cherish that I got to spend major alone time with my husband to get to know each other to the core. That has been the best experience thus far!
And because I am losing weight, me and the scale get along (for now), but I also go by measurements, how my clothes fit, and how I feel in my own skin, and I think that is most important!
That’s the tricky part–is once I do decide to do some baby-makin’, who knows how long it will take! Why can’t the stork just bring one to my doorstep when I am ready? ;)
ugh, seriously! Where can I sign up for that option on the next one?!
I went to the gastroenterologist yesterday too! Mine weighed me. It sucked, I didn’t realize or think you could just say no! I should have. I wish I was more like your dream and didn’t care about a number. I am so obsessed with it lately and trying to snap my way out of it.
I have baby fever from time to time. I don’t know anyone with kids that lives near me. I’m 27 (28 on Oct. 2nd) and am young, what’s the rush? I remind myself of that when I look at babies and it helps. Plus, I want to travel more with Andy and not worry about a little thumbsucker. I just need a dog instead.
2 things I am not? I am not a morning person. I wake up at 5:30 for work and it kills me. I need coffee or I’ll be a bitch. I hate mornings.
I am also not a fan of working out in the am. Boo to that.
Amanda! I totally say no to getting weighed when I go to the doc! Do it, it’s empowering.
hahaha a little thumbsucker. love the term. i am NOT a morning person. no way, no how.
i love this post — i feel exactly the same way about the scale! i too can fluctuate by several pounds through the day (i think this is a function of high metabolism & activity level) and weighing myself is just not a healthy behavior for me. there are plenty of other ways to gauge your weight & fitness level without obsessing over the numbers.
Oo, you picked two of my hot button topics, this is going to be long!
1: Scale. I hate the scale. I danced competitively with a partner for a while, and that was the first time I actually had to worry about how much I weighed, as opposed to just being healthy. I actually had to stop working out so hard to get rid of some muscle weight. 5 pounds can make a huge difference if someone has to throw you through the air! I had a great time, but I was so happy when I didn’t have to be so obsessively focused on the number.
2. Babies. Partly because of my dancing, I waited to have kids. I’m turning 32, I’ve been married for 7 years, and JUST got pregnant with my first. I caught a lot of flak from family and friends, but I just didn’t feel ready before, and I basically told them it’s my life not theirs, so they could suck it. (I was a lot more polite than that, but thats the way I felt!) There is no rush, enjoy yourself, enjoy your hott husband and your hott body, and if you feel like having kids someday, awesome. If not, awesome too. There is a lot of life to experience without kids.
LOVE your outlook. And I have wanted to tell a few people to suck it ;)
I do weigh myself, about once a week. I like to know where I am at but usually I can tell with how my clothes fit.
I never really wanted a baby either. I was freaked to hold them too. Then My Hubs and I decided to go for it. All of a sudden I have an almost 17 month old. Love her to bits, but she will be an only child. :)
it’s refreshing to hear that. someone who has a kid, loves her kid but isn’t like “CAN’T WAIT TO HAVE MORE!”
I love hearing that other people about my age (I’m 26) aren’t interested in babies. I actually love babies…when they are someone else’s! I am the oldest of 6 so I grew up with babies always around and I love to hold them…and then give them back. My husband and I are currently extremely turned off to the thought of having children. However it seems that everywhere I look people are having babies…facebook, the school where I teach, blogs. Maybe someday something will click for us…but I’m not convinced! Thanks for sharing and making me not feel so evil!
Hey if it is evil, we are evil together :)
I’ve never heard the term “baby hungry” before, but I strongly dislike the term as well. I’ve always wanted to have a family, but I was never super excited about the whole pregnancy/baby thing. Holding other people’s babies always made me feel uncomfortable (probably because I didn’t know what to do with them and usually made them cry), even though I always knew I wanted my own someday. For me, there was a flip that switched, and suddenly, I wanted a baby NOW! I now have an 8 month old boy and love being a mom. In fact, I am already ready for another. I wouldn’t say that I’m super maternal by nature when it comes to other people’s kids, and I really dread going to baby showers (I’m not really in to all of the cutesy stuff…), but when it’s my own, it’s the best thing in the world.
As far as scales go, I never used them until I was trying to shed the baby weight. I now use it to help keep myself on track, but I’m anything but obsessive about it. My weight can fluctuate a ton depending on the time and day, so unless I see a prolonged steady increase, I don’t read too much into a couple higher numbers and instead try to focus on how I feel.
I must have been injected with a vaccine for baby-fever because kids aren’t in my cards either. And I’m totally happy with that. I’m 28 also and engaged to a swell fella who feels the same. I will forever have puppy-fever, though! We adopted a beagle back in May and are planning on getting a pug sometime next year. Between that, and awesome friends, I feel perfectly content with my family as is.
I’m not anti-kids, but I do wish there was less of a stigma attached to not having them because it’s not for everyone. Anywho. Enough ranting on that.
As for the scale, our relationship comes an goes in waves, haha. I used to weigh myself once a week, then everyday, then never and now, back to pretty much everyday. So far, it hasn’t been stressing me out, but yeah, I need to scale it back a bit (pardon the pun).
I am totally wanting more dogs, too :) And, ha, I love puns!
I would have LOVED to have more children – one thing I can say proudly is that I am a good momma!!!
You’ve raised an AMAZING daughter!
I am not a Republican.
I am not anything. Politics confuse me. Although I know Republicans confuse me, more.
One thing I am not would have to be political. I have my opinions on all the issues, but they range from Conservative Republican to Liberal Democrat. I don’t represent a party, and I don’t vote. Just my personal choice.
Babies—not for me. My hubby and I both agree we would rather not have children and be more focused on our relationship as a couple. More money to spend on fun stuff, and more down time.
As far as the scale…I try not to weigh myself and would rather go by how my clothes fit and how I feel, but at times (especially since I’m trying to lose weight) I do, just to see where I’m at. So far I’m down almost 20 lbs. and 2 jeans sizes :)
ME NEITHER. I don’t get politics. Call me ignorant, that’s fine, I am not interested even though I probably should be.
It’s EXPENSIVE to have kids. In this economy, I question how smart it is to bring children into the world if I can’t make sure they will be financially stable and cared for properly.
Nice job on the 20 lbs and 2 jean sizes!
I TOTALLY agree. And thank you :)
Totally agree with you about both. I used to be obsessed with the scale, but have no desire to get on it anymore. Even if I know I have put on muscle and it of course weighs more than fat, it would mess with my head too much to see the number go up.
With the kids thing, I used to want them so so bad, but have been a full-time nanny for the past 3 years. Best birth control EVER! I am 28 as well and my husband and I do not want them and I am perfectly content with our decision. I just don’t see them in our future. So, I totally see where you’re coming from :)
Yes–Sunday dinner at mom’s is great birth control for us.
I have crazy ass dreams every night too. They just spin out of control and boggle my mind. They kind of make me feel smart because I could never come up with stuff that interesting when awake.
I don’t ever want to have kids. No one ever believes me, but I truly do not want them. If I ever got the urge, I’d adopt.
I just read your dream post!
That is the best dream I’ve heard in a long time! Lately my dreams have all been baby related but I think it is because I am baby crazed right now. Not sure when it hit me because like you, I NEVER imagined myself with this strong desire but I swear it comes out of no where. :)
you’re gonna be knocked up in no time.
hate scales, love babies :)
I am definitely not a future mommy. Puppies & kitties – sure! But human babies? Not for me… I’ve never ever been into that idea.
I think you have the perfect mentality for it. Don’t force it, if you start to feel ready, you’ll be ready. But there ain’t nothing wrong with never being ready, either :-)
This is so silly, but I’ve been avoiding going to the doctor because I know that I’ve gained a little bit of weight and I don’t want the doctor to know. I didn’t know you could just ask not to be weighed.
i had to be weighed at the hospital yesterday because they needed to know how much anesthesia to give me. Makes sense. I didn’t look. But the regular doc, gyno, other doc? I never get weighed. I just tell them to use the previous weight because I haven’t changed much.
YES! You definitely have a right to forgo the weighing at the regular doctor’s office, unless it is medically necessary to know the weight–like maybe if they need it for a medicine dosage or something.
I weight myself everyday, but everyday I am more and more able to sort of just ignore the number. I always weigh myself in the morning, so if it starts creeping up a little bit, I pay a little more attention to what I’m eating, but I no longer let it define my mood like I used to.
As far as the baby thing… I always wanted kids, but I know some people simply are NOT baby people. You might really love kids ages 3 and up or something, but you don’t love newbies. That’s cool and maybe one day you’ll just have to decide that you want a family then, even if you aren’t craving a newborn. That probably sounds odd, but that is the way I’m seeing it.
“craving a newborn” does that really happen to people?!? yikes.
i actually told my co-worker that i wished i could just have a 4 year old or something. i am sure i could adopt one, and skip the baby stuff.
1) I am not into alcohol. Just not.
2a) I do care about weighing myself because it’s the best representation of my “progress” and a good motivation for me, but I try not to be obsessive.
2b) I’m never gonna have babies! I do have maternal feelings sometimes but then I hold a kid for .29 seconds and I wanna rip my uterus out. ^_^
1- i am not either. i am over the drinking thing. i drank the past two weekends (wedding and bachelorette party) and totally remembered why i am over drinking.
2b- laughing so hard.
Greattttt view on the scale- thats one area im too hung up on right now! I forever ever didnt want kids. One day, i decided i really wanted one. Now (fast forwardafew years), i have one and coulnt be happier! I hadnt changed a single diaper before kaylin-true story. I am not a procrastinator
i am so glad you had kaylin. i know how important that was to you :)
also no and no for this girl. I have an idea what I weigh and if I weigh more than that, I’d just rather not know. And I’m not even married (yes, I’m living in sin) so why would I be thinking about babies?!?! I want to have a married life with Nate for awhile before I decide to start thinkin about baby making! Oh and I’ve never heard the term “baby hungry”. That’s just plain weird.
OMG LIVING IN SIN! you are goin’ to hell.
Here’s what I think: maybe you are NORMAL and you don’t like the thoughts of giving up your freedom and sleep! TOTALLY NORMAL! What masochistic person would want that?!?!
BUT…here’s the thing – that part is shortlived. Your sleep will return and your independece will never be the same, but you’ll find a new “you”.
Have kids…it might just be the best thing you ever do. You’d be an amazing mother too – bringing up your children with positivity and determination!
hahahahahahahaha. i love your comments on motherhood.
Oh. My. Heck. If I hear anyone tell me that my eggs are getting old, I’m going to lose it. I’m 25 people! Sometimes, I feel like women totally have the “mommy club” and if you’re not in… you’re out!
That said, i am excited to have babies some day, but not now. I really want to finish school first. It seems like the logical thing to do. Plus, with dogs you can stick them in the laundry room and go out for the night. ;)
bahaha. I get this too – granted i am 30, but still! Shit people, I am YOUNG.
I have had people tell me I am selfish for not wanting a child..really?! It pushes my buttons, this little old baby topic. I am not naiive enough to say never, god knows what i’ll think tomorrow, let alone years from now. It drives me nuts that people my age assume all women want children. Not all of us do. And that’s ok! I hate the sad, pitying looks I get from people when I express this view, and the “life is SO much better” line. I thought this was the 21st century and women can choose whatever the hell they like?!
Gah!
Sorry – rant over. It seems like I have this discussion on a daily basis….that’s what turning 30 does to you!
It’s nice to know I’m not alone on this topic. One of my closest friends is quite adamant she doesn’t want kids- though she is open to the fact she could change her mind. While it’s surprising when I hear someone say they don’t want kids, I don’t think that makes them selfish or a “bad person”. People need to relax a little… and mind their own business!
I totally and completely agree with your rant. Well put.
YES! I agree as well. The pity/selfish thing bothers me too. After more than 10 years of me saying I don’t want kids, my mom is FINALLY getting used to the idea. My younger sister though? Not so much. She wants me to have kids just so her future kids can have cousins. I’m sure she’ll have a better understanding of where I’m coming from in a few years (she just turned 21), but in the meantime, it’s driving me a little nuts.
I think it is selfish for wanting more children when you don’t have the funds to do so. I know plenty of parents who keep having children even though they are NOT financially stable. They want a big family because they grew up in a big family and think it’s best to just keep having kids. Well, times have changed, the economy has changed, having a big family probably isn’t best (especially if your husband is unemployed at the moment, yes I know a few of those).
If and when I have kids, I will have two. I want to be able to take my children on vacations and get them great birthday gifts and help them with college.
Loved your rant!
loved reading about your dream. I am not sure if I have ever dreamt of weighing myself in a dream, I could have and if I did I do not remember it haha
I do not weigh myself anymore, Michelle and I tend to stay away from our scale, the only reason why we have a scale in the house is for weighing our bakerys packages haha
we are just like you in your thoughts about the scale and the number. I know I have gained some weight lately because of how some clothes fit but I am ok with it because I feel I look great and I feel great. and to me that is what counts :) HUGS
YES! That is for sure what counts. Well put!
BLARGH I am with you on the baby thing! I just… am not maternal and babies and children annoy me to no end. Yet… I want to have a family one day. I love my husband but I am sure we’ll get bored with ourselves and our pets eventually. So, I am thinking maybe one day (say maybe mid thirties?) I was thinking we could adopt one that’s old enough to wipe its own ass and skip the awful 24/7 baby phase. Plus, it wouldn’t get the diabetes from my husband (it’s ALL up in his family and I have a hard enough time keeping up with his ‘betes much less a little kid’s!).
SO yeah, babies. South Carolina sounds a lot like Utah with people getting married and blowing out babies when they should be graduating college. Sigh.
hahaha i was saying i’d love to just have a 4 year old and go from there.
Oh, and pregnancy gives me the heebie jeebies. A pregnant coworker grabbed my hand and put it on her eight and a half months full belly and I almost yakked all over her. It just.. aghh. Can’t handle.
Ahaha! I love that dream!! I have really crazy dreams, too – a lot of times they are so ridiculous that I can’t even match pieces of them to my real life. At least my mind is entertaining.
Also, I never weigh myself, and tried to close my eyes at all my pre-baby doctor appointments, but once opened them and saw a big scary number. Then I though…heck, I’m pregnant. Whatever. And haven’t worried about it sense.
And I have no idea if the “I want a baby” thing will just click. I think I’ve wanted babies since I was like 10 years old…so, I’m kind of a weirdo.
Not weird…I’ve always wanted to be a momma.
i know LOTS of people who have always wanted kids. were you guys around babies a lot growing up? i think that has something to do with it. i am the youngest and was never around babies and feel super awkward around them.
I was definitely around my fair share. I live in a town where basically everyone is a cousin, so I had alot of younger kids and babies at church, get-togethers, etc.
Only one younger sister though…but she’s 4 years younger, so I played with her like a babydoll.
oh my gosh, that is EXACTLY how I feel about the whole baby thing. We are the only ones out of all our friends to not be pregnant or have kids and the more baby showers, birthdays, christenings I attend, the less and less likely I feel like I’ll ever want them. I’ve never really wanted kids since I was little and everyone always said “oh, you’ll change your mind one day, just wait.” Well, I’m 29, the husband is 31 and we’re both still like “eh, don’t really want them!” Honestly, if one more person asks why we don’t want to have them, I’m going to start to ask them why the heck they WANT to have them! Isn’t it funny how it’s acceptable to ask people why they don’t want kids, but no one ever asks the question in reverse? Can you tell I think about this a lot? haha.
you are so right! I am sick of being heckled…i’m gonna start heckling back ;)
i wonder why other people are so concerned about your baby making decisions. it’s SO not anybody’s business!
i’m off to another baby shower on saturday. Baby hungry? not at all. Yes, i am close to 30 but if we had a baby now, i am pretty sure we;d be moving in with you and marshall to save money. haha.
Maybe what we need is blogger co-housing? We could share baby-sitting duties, split grocery bills, share Internet and more. :)
this is a great idea!
Don’t worry about not having the “I want to be a mommy” feeling. I didn’t for the longest time. Seriously… not wanting to go near other people’s babies, wanting nothing to do with children… then one day it hit me and I want a baby – BAD! I don’t know what triggered it, but BAM it happened :) And I had always said the same thing about wanting a family, but not wanting babies. If you are meant to be a mother, the time will come when you want a baby… until then, enjoy your time with Marshall :)
interesting that you did experience a BAM! i wonder what will happen with me. my mom said she didn’t experience that, but once she HAD a baby in her arms, it hit.
and by “a baby” i mean her own. aka my sister
I am not interested in trying to be someone I’m not, which has really helped me identify and cultivate my own style : ) fun post.
weight schmeight…one of the most common email questions I get regardin gmy shows is ” how do I hit my goal weight” or “what is your goal weight’ I have NO IDEA! we do not go by weight at all….a number is a number, it does not define you. Muscle/fat…the composition that is what matters (health wise) and that is what I use as a trainer to determine my clients goals…seriously… how can a number define a person? I think not…
One thing I am not? A baker! oh lord I cannot bake for my life lol
totally. body composition is SUCH a better tool!
Wow. That dream is straight up crazy! I’ve never dreamed about having a dream before. That would be super cool and inception like. you are a genius dreamer!
Scales… boo. I’m not against weighing and usually do it. But right now I’m not and I like the space it clears in my mind. I don’t know what I weigh I just know I’m doing well and looking good and that’s fine with me. I just don’t want to worry about what I weigh on my wedding day or any time around it.
Babies… I want them and I don’t. I definitely want to be a mom and always have, but I don’t really like babies. I liked kids, but I could totally skip the baby years. I’d be totally down with adoption but that love of mine wants to have our own. So that means I will eventually have to deal with the baby stuff. But I’m in no rush at 25. And you are only 28. That’s so young and you can have kids for a long time after that, despite the common family plan in Utah. ;)
Dreams are so funny. I wish I could remember mine. Sometimes I think about buying a little notebook to keep right next to my bed so I can write them down right when I wake up and laugh about them later. lol.
Scales. Well, the scale has controlled me for far too many years. I used to compulsively weigh myself every morning at approximately the exactly same time and FREAK out if it moved up even just a couple of tenths of a pound. This number controlled whether I had a good day or a bad day and definitely caused a lot of struggles not only for myself but people around me in life. Now I weigh myself a couple of times a month but sometimes I wonder why I bother because I usually just get pissy when I do it.
I am definitely not baby hungry either! And I agree with you totally about the scale too. (And for what it’s worth I remember when I lived in Utah all the pressure to conform to a certain standard – it’s one reason why I won’t ever live there again, you’re a stronger girl than I am!)
it is REALLY refreshing to read your comment because I know you are LDS. Is it only Utah LDS ladies that are ALL ABOUT PROCREATION?
I’m the same, Janetha! I’m 29 and seriously have no desire to have children, probably ever. I always think puppies are way cuter than actual babies and seriously never get excited about babies, ever. My brother recently had a kid – and I think he’s cute, but I feel bad because I really don’t have much desire to hang with my nephew. Maybe when he’s talking more I will. This upsets my mother to no end as she’s a midwife and loves children and can’t fathom why I wouldn’t want to have any. I know when I was a little girl I wanted kids – but I guess that was just societal norms taking their toll on me. I’ve had little interest in them since I got to high school. I’ll let you know if baby fever ever hits me though! I’m sure you’ll keep us posted, as well! :)
SAME! i flip out when i see a dog. but babies? nothin.
I definitely hate the baby hungry talk as well. I have never had that urge to procreate like so many women talk of. Funny thing is though is that I’m 30 and am pregnant with #3. I’m not a huge fan of other children, and always feel uncomfortable holding other babies. I had my babies because my hubby was ready, and while I didn’t crave it, I didn’t not want them and knew I wanted to have 2 or 3 and do it while I’m young.
I applaud you for not caring what the scale says! As long as you are healthy and happy, it’s all that matters! You go girl! Thank you for setting a great example for myself and many other women.
I am 24 and am a scale checker. Although I am super healthy… diet wise, exercise, water intake, happiness etc. I just really like keeping things in check to see if my choices were smart.
I know that I really don’t have to use a scale… but I am cursed now!
“do you usually have dreams that have something to do with your day or week or things that have happened in your life? ” —
My undergrad and graduate work is in psychology and one term that is thrown around for this is “Day residue”. So yes, common, and it even has a word.
Babies. I never wanted to be a mother. I wasnt the maternal type. Until I hit about 28 and then my clock started thumping. As in, couldnt get preggers fast enough. This was a 180 degree!!! turnaround from my former self. As in, I was the “Im never having babies, ever.” kind of girl…but nature took over and my clock ticked and the rest is history. And if you never have babies, or wait 10 years to do it, that will be the perfect path, for YOU.
so cool about the day residue thing!
I am not on the baby band wagon. At all.
let’s start our own band wagon… there will be watermelon and ice cream and cereal on board.
I love babies, and I know I want some in the future… but I’m way too boringly practical right now. I know I want a little more $ in the bank, a few more years of being selfish, and for my husband to not be at work 12 hours every day before we make little dreamkiller.
I’m also pretty sure I have to stop calling my future child “dreamkiller” before I can say I’m ready for a baby.
hahaha little dreamkiller. another reason i love you and your sense of humor.
Argh I hate weighing myself. I don’t do it often because it always seems to depress me – even when I’m purposely trying to gain muscle! I try to judge my progress based on measurements and body fat percentage instead.
I’ve never heard the term “baby hungry”, but I absolutely agree with you on that topic. Babies are scary! Pregnancy and labor are even worse. Yikes! I’m already 31, and I’m so not ready for being a mom. I’m starting to feel too old, so it might never happen.
On the other hand, all mothers, esp. those with several kids, are true rockstars in my opinion.
agreed. i look up to anyone who can handle being a mother. it’s hard work!
I’m not baby hungry either. I don’t want children. I just don’t. I don’t think they’re cute and I’ve NEVER had the desire. Call me a failure as a woman or whatever you want, I’m used to it. We all have the right to choose what we want for our OWN lives and I choose not to have children. I’m up front about it when I date people and it’s made it tough, but I’d rather be honest from the jump off. I might change my mind in the future, but I’m 31 so I don’t see that changing. I have nieces and little cousins and that’s enough for me.
Failure as a woman? Hardly. My friend has a 3 year old that I think of like my own daughter, but it’s been eye-opening. I love kids, and have recently come to the decision that I *do* want them…but it’s a selfish act, having children (not my thought — my friend’s, who is wise beyond her years). Not having them? If it’s the right choice for you, then I’m on board.
amen
thanks for sharing the wacky dream, j, and your thoughts on not being baby hungry – oops, i mean desiring to have offspring!!
i last weighed myself on july 13 this summer. i just stopped because i didn’t see the usefulness. and it has been liberating!!! i’m glad you just told them NO at the doc office. way to take a stand. your dream is very interesting!!
re babies: we chose to remain child-free (i love that term way more than childLESS). and i feel very fulfilled with having a close family, two adorable nieces, close friends. and i have no regrets. you’ll know what the best decision is for you and marshall. lotsa time for you to decide!
child-free is a great term!
I don’t weigh myself either. I haven’t in six or seven years. I just don’t give a shit what the scale says. It’s irrelevant to me.
Babies…I have three kids but I am not a lover of babies either. People always look at me weird when I say that, like I must not like my own children or something, but I’ve never been gaga over babies. Babies in general make me uncomfortable. Once they hit the toddler stage I’m good, but infants are not my thing.
If the desire for babies eventually hits you, great, but if not that’s cool too. My former boss wasn’t excited about pregnancy and babies either but still wanted to be a mom. She and her husband became foster parents and ended up adopting eight (yes, I said EIGHT) children out of the system and they have this amazingly wonderful multicultural family. There’s more than one way to make family happen. You’ll figure it out when the time is right.
i love that you said you aren’t into babies even though you have 3 kids. i feel like when i do have kids, i will be the same way. i am just not into the baby thing at all.
Babies: I get a little baby crazy once in a while, but lately I’ve been leaning more towards not wanting any at all or at least not for a few more years. I have no clue — but I do know that now is not a good time. Maybe in a year or two?
Scales: I weigh myself now and then — it hasn’t been a weight loss/maintenance tool for me for a while now. My weight can also fluctuate 10 lbs or so in a day and it used to really bother me and seriously drive me nuts. I’ve never thought about refusing to weigh at the doctor’s office though.
You are a VERY smart dreamer!!
And I have always been baby hungry – ALWAYS!!! I know it’s not the right time, but when it is baby season over here, I can’t wait!!!
hahaha baby season. i love you.
That is a pretty awesome dream. You’re so right though! I avoid weighing myself. I hate that a number can dictate how we feel about ourselves, and I just wont let that happen!
Also, never heard the term “baby hungry” but as soon as I read it, I was like ummm I aint eating no babies! haha definitely there with you.
Yesterday there was this mom and her son walking up the street past the mailbox, I had stopped to grab the mail. The kid was screaming “I can’t walk. Mom. MOM.” Crying and flailing his arms. The mom passed me and said “sorry”, I said “no worries at all” then she said “you must be a mom.” I just looked at her and said “NOPE” haha :|
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