once upon a time i made my bed.
that rarely happens.
the end.
once upon a time i painted my nails.
that was yesterday.
less than 2 hours later, i was already missing a full index fingerful of nail polish.
i shouldn’t paint my nails.
the end.
once upon a time i made this week’s meal plan.
tuesday definitely says “on your own”–meaning marshall is on his own. the rest of the week looks delicious and includes this and this. i made a list and went grocery shopping.
the end.
once upon a time i got home from the store and the power was out.
i had a bunch of perishables and got a little worried.
less than 10 minutes later, the power came back on.
the end.
once upon a time i found out that fitmixer would no longer be sold at costco.
it is $30 online.. and $10 at costco.
so i bought $100 worth.
that’s logical, right?
the end.
once upon a time i bought a new vacuum because it was on sale for $100 at costco.
the end.
once upon a time i made horchata for a dozen people.
it was in a big jug, way bigger than what i needed, but it was the only container large enough to hold the horchata.. and it wouldn’t fit in the fridge. so, to keep it cold, i put it outside in the snow.
oh yeah, it snowed.
the end.
once upon a time i had a TON of leftover rice+cinnamon sticks from making horchata.
i am saving it to make rice pudding.
the end.
once upon a time we bought a new vitamix because our old one broke.
word on the street is vitamixes will make whole food juice, so today i decided to give it a whirl.
i used grapes, kale, celery, an apple, cucumber, a little water, and ice.
it worked.
and it was tasty.
the end.
once upon a time we had over six types of bread at one time.
three kinds of bagels, hamburger buns, sourdough bread, wheat bread, and cookies. because cookies are bread, right?
the top of the fridge is the best place to keep bread, because it happens to be randy’s FAVORITE food.
he is a short little guy.
he can’t reach the bread.
this pisses him off.
the end.
(please leave me a short story of your own.)
xo. janetha g.
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Once upon a time, my husband decided he wanted to help me clean the house today. He spent three hours vacuuming every single crevice of our home. The end.
Once upon a time I changed my baby’s diaper. She destroyed it again two seconds later. The end. (Great post!)
Once upon a job, I decided I hated my job and decided to become a real estate agent. It’s a work in progress. Oh, I also (once upon a time) decided I am jealous of your Costco stocking BCAAs, and also of your Vitamix :D
Once upon a time I decided to take a curling (the sport not the hair) clinic. It is harder than it looks and the ice is really cold. I fell twice. My elbows are sore. The end. :)
The power once went off for a whole day when I lived in MA…we put our whole fridge on the front porch….in the spring, we found a can of whipped cream :) Oh randy! Its cool, I’m short too!
Once upon a time, my bedroom TV remote fell behind the headboard and I am too lazy to get it so no TV for me. The end.
Once upon a time, I regretted cancelling my Costco Membership. Gotta get back on that!
Also! Once upon a time, I convinced Andy to drive out to L.A. just so I could get a bunch of vegan, gluten-free pastries from Babycakes. It was heavenly.
Once upon a time I spent the afternoon wandering the grocery store for fun and walked out with just a tea and chocolate bar. I forgot my list at home. The end.
Once upon a time, I got a pedicure and when they took off my old nail polish, one of my toenails was blue. No wonder it’s been hurting.
Randy’s been foiled again! Don’t worry, he’ll find a way. ;)
Once upon a time… I asked my husband for a vita-mix for Valentine’s day…
and he bought me a .22. (!!) I am completely serious, true story.
The end.
once upon a time, Jason had a basset. her name was Babs and she was his best friend (they ran away together when he was 5…).
whenever there are Randy photos and Jason is in the room, I show him. they always make him smile.
Randy’s face cracks me up! Story time:
Once upon a time I went to AE for skinny jeans. The smaller size fit me and I was happy to pay the $40 for them. Except they ran up at $17.50. SCORE. The end.
That happens to me all the time with nail polish. It’s ridiculous!
That vitamix is awesome. I definitely would love that juice, it looks amazing.
once upon a time my mom went to costco and forgot to invite me. I was very sad because I really needed another five pound box of cheerios. The end.
Note: I am still in college, which is why I still sometimes want my mother to buy me things.
Once upon a time, we held our “Real Deal Bonspiel” fundraiser for our summer trips and were blown away by the money raised and support we got! Also, curling rocks. The end.
Once upon a time, I remembered that Alberta (and many provinces in Canada) have Family Day and tomorrow is just such a day. Tomorrow we’re going skiing! And I am grateful. The end.
:D
once upon a time i woke up at 3am…to the sound of a cat barfing. i got up to clean up said barf and proceeded to stay awake for 2 hours. i wasn’t tired…until about 20 minutes before my alarm went off at 5am. the end.
once upon a time i was more excited to wake up to a barfing cat than an alarm clock. the alarm clock meant i had to go to work. working in a restaurant on a sunday means working with high school kids. i do not like {most} high school kids…they work slow, slack off and just drive me crazy. cat barf was more appealing. because of this i may have skipped showering. the end.
once upon a time = just another sunday morning!
Hahah I bet you always have to hid your food from your dogs.
Once upon a time we took the dogs out without their leashes because it was snowing and we wanted to play with them (even though it was dark). Yogi ran off and scout followed.. So I followed them.. Half an hour later, we were back in the house, very snowy. The end.
I’m so afraid if scout runs off, he’s not bright enough to find his way back..
I think it’s about time you work your way through some of that bread :D
I ate way too much sugar this weekend. THE END.
Once upon a time, I drove all the way to the big Smiths downtown with list in hand. Got there, sat in the car playing scramble with friends and checking twitter for half an hour. Decided I didn’t want to get out and deal with the grocery store crowd and drove home empty handed. The End.
Once upon a time my boyfriend & I are making eggrolls w/ the Nasoya wraps using your recipe!!
Once upon a time I intended to do all of the laundry. Then I ate Thai food and watching Breaking Bad instead. The end.
Yay for a new Vitamix!
I saw this and thought of you and HAD to share it. It made me think of Randy Dog :)
http://iwastesomuchtime.com/on/?i=25041
Once upon a time I painted my nails. And by nails, I mean 1 toe. I left it there for a couple months. I shouldn’t paint my nails either. The end.
(This really pissed off my best friend.)
One day recently my sister called and said (i know a lot about dogs) “Hey Pip what IS this new cool dog recently accepted into in the AKC and it’s a cavalier, but not like your cavaliers?” (i have four Cavlier KCS’s). So i said “i know EXACTLY what dog you are talking about because of this girls blog i read”.. and then i sent her a picture of Penny….
the end…
ha, i never make my bed. today i drank a lot of beverages, none of them were just water. i may regret this tomorrow morning. you should follow https://twitter.com/#!/veryshortstory it’s really good and entertaining all in the size of a tweet! they are GOOD!
What is horchata? It looks delicious!
It is a Mexican drink made from rice milk, cinnamon, sugar, and vanilla. So good!!
Once upon a time I left a 6 pack of bagels on the kitchen counter and my basset hound Whiskey (who is queen of the counter surf) came downstairs in the middle of the night and dragged the whole bag upstairs to eat 3 bagels in the dog bed at the top of the stairs. Then she decided to bring one bagel to bed with her (really?) but it fell between the mattress and the footboard of the bed and landed on the floor behind her kennel. Guess who couldn’t fit under the bed to get it? She proceeded to whine until we woke up….the end.
You win. Best short story ever. The end.
I like these short stories.
Once upon a time I slept for 11 hours and then took a nap that next day. Awesome. And THE end. Going back to bed in t-minus 1 hour. Score!
Once upon a time on a Sunday evening, I put off going to the gym until 6:20PM. Then I realized the gym closes at 7pm. I resisted the temptation to skip it, went anyway, and jogged a mile straight for the first time in a LONG time. Hooray for small victories! The end.
PS. my favorite short story of yours was definitely the bread on top of the fridge. Randy’s face is priceless.
This makes me want to go to Costco…
Once upon a time I decided to make homemade spaghetti sauce. There was a heated debate about what should/shouldn’t be put into said sauce. Everyone was silent at the dinner table. Must have been good. The end.
Once upon a time I told Ben’s Mom about your mischievous Randy. She said her first basset hound would open drawers to get on the counter for food. She would also walk on walls. Basically, she was magical.
that’s great! i think randy is magic, too.
one time i didn’t make my bed for like 3 years. oh yeah, that’s now.
the end :)
Once upon a time I bought I really crappy wine for $10 but was too cheap to throw it out so I continued to drink it.
Once upon a time I was ambitious and decided to go hiking at the Red Rocks. And now I’m in immense pain. The end.
*Wine is somewhat helping the hurting knees.
Once upon a time I went to the grocery store and bought one can each of sardines and smoked herring. (Only $1 each!) I mixed the sardines with a little Miracle Whip and relish and ate it on crackers yesterday, and had the herring with mustard on crackers today. Hooray – cheap omega 3’s! Wasn’t sure if I could stomach them, but it went ok. The end.
I never paint my nails for the SAME REASON! It is infuriating!!!!!!!!!! lol I literally painted my nails on Sunday for Valentine’s day (Tuesday) and had to do damage control for almost all of the nails about 15 times throughout the 2 days to have them last for V-day. stupid, really. I even brought my nail polish to campus that tuesday! (err.. once upon a time.)
Once upon a time, I added a little coffee to my protein (Mocha Cappucino) shake with pumpkin and had a very tasty, healthy, mocha frap-like drink. The end. ;)
Once upon a time I spent 8 hours scrubbing my house. And it’s still not completely clean. Pretty sure next time there is a groupon deal for a cleaning service I’m getting it.
My family used to call it “Fend for yourself night.” :)
You’re never going to believe this…but I made horchata over the weekend! I have never made it before and it turned out amazing…like I could drink til my belly hurts amazing…I would love to try yours! I’ll be blogging about it probably next week but what are the odds you have horchata…in the snow. Lol
What is Fitmixer?
Hmmm… One time I ate burnt broccoli slaw while watching The Bachelor from 2 weeks ago instead of doing the million things I should be doing.
Once upon a time I discovered a fro-yo place called Menchies, and I loved it so much I had it twice in the same day. I will most likely return tomorrow. The end.
Once upon a time, I left our pit-mix Wyatt uncrated during the day – he ate the baseboard right off the wall, and snacked on some drywall. . I think he might be a cross btwn a goat & a dog. Nothing is off limits when he comes to what he’ll eat(chew).
hahahaha love it
i’m wondering if that fitmixer amino would be good preworkout in the morning because of the carbs/etc and whether it would be fast digesting. hmm share your knowledge with a friend
Once upon a time we had a house that smelled badly of skunk, in the middle of February, even though all the windows were closed. Pans of vinegar and a couple of candles (and time) helped a lot. But the skunks keep visiting. Sad. The end. (I wish!)
Once upon a time Mick (my love) had a 45-90 minute commute each way to work everyday. Then we moved this Saturday. Now he has a 20 minute commute. Yay! The end.
Love this post, lol!
Once upon a time I let me kids wear my nice dresses and play with play-doh because it makes them happy and I’m trying to win the title of cool parent. The end.
Once upon a time, I got an amazing deal and bought a Michael Kors dress for $18. Then, I decided to wear it today and couldn’t figure out the belt. I enlisted my boyfriend’s help and WE couldn’t figure it out. After 15 minutes, I ended up doing a tying-thingy with it because we never figured it out.
Once upon a time I started going to Zumba classes. It’s the best thing I have ever done for myself. The End.
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