WHY is it that when i rush around and make an extra effort to get to the airport early, there is NO security line and then my flight gets delayed and i end up sitting at the gate for ages…
…and then on the flip side, when i am running late there is a huge security line and my flight is completely boarded and ready to take off—just waiting for me?! (i realize that was a huge run-on question. hope you followed.)
WHY is lip gloss not considered a liquid but peanut butter is? apparently the single-serving peanut butter pouches need to be in a ziptop bag, but my tube of the exact-same-consistency lip gloss is good to go. you know, because i might have some seriously threatening explosive peanut butter. don’t even get me started about the apple that’s tagging along with that peanut butter. it has full grenade potential!
WHY do they make me take my shoes off when going through security? do they think i am hiding a machete in my $2.50 pair of old navy flip flops? they have a super high tech machine that scans my entire body—inside and out i am sure—but it can’t scan my shoes while they are on my feet?? i really need to start wearing socks to the airport.
speaking of shoes…
WHY do some women insist on wearing 4” heels to the airport? news flash, ladies: standing in line to check in, then standing in line to go through security, then standing in line to get your fancy drink from starbucks at 8 PM, then walking to your gate, then walking to the bathroom, then walking back to your gate, then standing in line to board your flight is, in fact, NOT a runway fashion show. it’s the airport. and your feet are going to really, really hurt tomorrow.
oh, and while we are on the subject of standing in line to board your flight…
WHY do people do this?!? YES, i want nothing more than to get a good spot at the front of the line to board the plane on which i have an ASSIGNED seat… so i can sit on said plane with zero personal space* while i wait for everyone after me to board the plane. oh, and if i happen to be in an aisle seat, i get to sit down, get settled, then stand up again when mister (or miss) window seat on my same row decides to board. how convenient does that sound?? news flash, folks: they aren’t taking off until the last one in line boards. and that last one will always be me, because i would much rather hang out in the nice, big airport for as long as possible before being crammed on a tiny aircraft for the next couple/few hours.
*first class passengers need not respond to this. i have never and will never be in first class, but if i WAS, then a mimosa and a warm washcloth pre-takeoff may change my tune.
WHY do i always get stuck next to a smelly individual or a seat hog? i am not even exaggerating. whenever i travel alone, i end up sending marshall or momma b (or both) a text regarding my seatmate (is that the proper term?) in this particular case, i lucked out with BOTH a space invader and a stinker. i am already claustrophobic as it is—please get your leg and elbow out of my zone. oh, and by stinker i don’t meat a farter, eden, i mean the body odor kind of stinky.
momma b had me looking on the bright side…
and marshall told me to be safe and to hold my breath.
thanks, babe.. it’s gonna be a long flight!
WHY is it always so damn cold on the actual airplane? i am typing this while in the air, en route to LA and my feet are FREEZING because the cold air is blasting them. that’s what i get for not wearing socks, i guess. dirty feet from the security line and cold feet from the flight. i bed deb is excited for me and my awesome feet to crash on her couch tonight!
your turn! share your WHY? about the airport or airplanes.
xo. janetha g.
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Lol. Love it. I am going to be flying for the first time since 5th grade next Friday. At least it is a tiny airport! :P Baby steps.
BO is the worst. I would seriously probably throw up :(
Hey … I live in Kansas. lol
They took your peanut butter?! Sad day :(
Haha, love this! Flying is such a terrible, inconvenient process, only made bearable by the fact that it usually means you’re going somewhere fun!
OH MY GOSH airplanes are freezing. I absolutely hate flying, I hold the “sick bag” in my hands the whole time because it’s inevitable that I’m going to barf I get so nervous. Being 40,000 feet about solid ground freaks me right the f out. Big-time. Also, I hate hurry up and wait game also. Especially on a plane because we’re all going the same place… at the same time… in the same vessel.. (really freaking high up!) I always think the wing is going to snap off. So I always want a seat directly over the wing and find myself staring at it the whole flight for comfort.
Here you go, one of my favorites:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/airplane
I travel so much and get really tired of the long lines and people who don’t understand the process. The liquids rule has been in effect for at least 5 years now, come on people put your shampoo in a baggy. On a side note, how is peanut butter a liquid? That makes no sense to me.
Oh my god, Marshall’s texts actually made me laugh out loud because that’s exactly the way my boyfriend texts too! I also have a lot of hatred toward airports – why are my flights ALWAYS delayed for hours?? You have the whole sky, there can’t be that much air traffic in your way!
I see that you do the same thing I do with the iPhone aka think of a text I want to send and copy/paste it to multiple people! Haha so convenient.
FYI – with iphone you can send a single text to multiple people at the same time. No need to copy/paste :)
I’ve def tried that before, but the text never ended up getting to anyone listed after the first person to send it to!
WHY don’t I have my own private jet so I can come and hang with you too this weekend? Boo bah hiss.
Your not coming?! Lets hijack one of Donals Trump’s planes!
I’m on it.
Oh my gosh, I spelled “too” wrong in my original comment. I want to crawl out of my skin!
Haha, I love traveling and I don’t mind airports – so much happening and so many things can go wrong and then make a good story (if the situation ends well, of course). And I enjoy observing people from so many countries. The taking shoes off must be something American, because I’ve never been asked to take off my shoes when going through security.
PS: Do you not turn your phone off during the flight?
theeeeeee worst B.O. known to man……..bahaha that had me cracking up. Not laughing at your situation because that is SO unfortunate. I once was sat next to a complete creeper on a flight from NJ to Florida. This dude, who had the greasy looks of a creep, would glare incessantly at you when you were trying to nap or when you would politely look away his eyes were still wide and staring, what are you supposed to do on a 3 hour flight? scream for help….so awk
WHY does United Airlines show their standby list on the big screen for everyone to see and Jetblue is reluctant to even tell you what number you are? Grrrrrr.
haha we’ll have to agree to disagree on two items here:
1. i agree with making EVERYONE take their shoes off. hell with it make me take my pants off for all i care as long as i don’t die
2. when i used to travel for my internship a couple of summers ago i would wear heels to the airport bc i was traveling for business and it just made me feel so much more cooler haha
A few years ago I flew from Vancouver to LA with some friends and when we were checking it we were asked if we wanted to upgrade to first class for $50. WHAT. OF COURSE WE DO. It was the most blissful flight of my life, but it never happened again and now coach/economy/whatever seems even worse now :(
My WHY about airplanes is WHY do people with kids think that it’s a good idea to choose red eye flights? I mean it’s clear they think their kids will just sleep for the whole flight, but NEWSFLASH: they don’t. They just scream all night.
WHY does the sickest person with the most gnarly cold always end up seated next to me? When I flew back from a business trip in Phoenix the person next to me never put his tissues away and also never stopped talking – so many germs. Ick.
I’m totally the girl who’s invading your personal space…I get so nervous while flying that I literally can’t shut up. Jibber jabbering a mile a minute. OR, I get window seat and oooh and aaaah at every patchwork quilt square that I see below.
Girl….I was laughing SO hard from this post! BTW, you don’t get champagne in 1st class… lol I never understood the standing in line thing to get on the plane early either!
xoxo from Trinidad
What!?!?!? Pan Am (the TV show) lied to me!??!?! :P
I love travelling, but I really don’t like to fly. Airplanes give me gas, which I hold in so that I won’t be the airplane stinker. I always end up with a stomachache. Ugh. I don’t mind taking my shoes off, but I always feel a little bit strange de-belting. Which leads to my “why” question: WHY do I always wear a belt when I’m flying? I should know better by now.
WHY are people still shocked at the security process. Even though the rules are “less than sensible,” we still have to follow them but people always make a big fuss. If we could all just move along through security things would go faster. Stuff in a baggie, shoes off, belt off, laptop out of the bag. “Huh, why can’t I bring my machete on board? I promise I won’t kill anybody.” GAH!!!!
:)
oh man! Well, I hope the ice cream when you got there made up for it!!
Why does everyone crowd the boarding line when they announce “Zone 1”, when they are in Zone 5 and they can’t board the plane anyway? I love having to squeeze by when it’s *actually* my turn. :)
I also think if you can’t physically fit in one seat, you should have to buy 2.
At baggage claim WHY do people jam themselves right up against the conveyor belt?! Now no one can see and you have to elbow your way through people to get your bag if you happen to catch a glimpse of it between someones legs. Step back people and then we can all see our bags and grab them when they come out.
I kind of love this post a whole lot, having spent a substantial chunk o’ my life in airports/airplanes.
My last flight from Asheville to New Hampshire ON THE WORLD’S SMALLEST PLANE had me sitting next to a gentleman that was 6’8” and all up in my space. Not okay, tall sir, not okay.
My why of air travel: WHY if a passenger throws up on a plane, does everyone need to look at them? (Perhaps I’m just bitter about this one, but waking up from passing out covered in Jamba Juice puke with 50 strangers staring at you is just awesome.)
I’d really like to know why people line up to get on planes too? I’m guessing for overhead bin space?
And then there’s the standing up once the plane lands. I get that you want to stretch your legs, but it just turns into a lot of awkward standing. Especially if you’re in the back of the plane.
I was on a flight a few weeks ago where the people got to the front of the security line and were confused that they had to take of their shoes. Really people? We’ve been doing this for 10 years now. Get with the program!
UGHHH the stinky people on airplanes! I get that some cultures just don’t promote deodorant usage. I get it. I really do! I also get that sometimes people become immune to their own smell. However, please do everyone else a favor and make an EXTRA EFFORT the morning of your flight, by applying loooots of deodorant. And maybe taking a gas-x.
“they aren’t taking off until the last one in line boards. and that last one will always be me, because i would much rather hang out in the nice, big airport for as long as possible before being crammed on a tiny aircraft” —
100% AGREED!!!!!!!!
And the heels. The only thing I can think of is they are dressed for business and happen to be wearing heels but I would have worn flats for all that trekking around and walking if it were me.
I saw some IG pics of you and Deb…glad you made it! Email me if you have any room in your schedule :)
WHY can’t I always fly first class? :) there’s my why!
you would have eye rolled at me years ago – I was flying a lot for business, and I wore my suits and HIGH heels to the airports (but I wore high heels every day, and HONESTLY I swear my feet never hurt. I loved them!). this was before the removing shoes requirement, and I had a pair that was so high (4.5 inch, chunky heel) they had a steel rod in the heel for support – and they set off the alarm thing. I had to take them off to go through. :)
WEEE! destination LA – love that photo! have an awesome time, give the birthday girl a hug for me!
I LOATHE airports! you kinda already said all my “why?”s but I do have some advice:
1) always wear sandals and then put a pair of socks in your purse for during the flight.
2) always make sure to get your seat early so you can hog the armrest (teehee!)
3) also, very important! take either some viks vapo rub, or smith’s rosebud salve to put under your nose…then you can’t smell anything yucky AND it keeps you from getting dried out from the airplane air :)
Hah, I hate when I wear sandals to the airport and think about all the lovely stuff my bare feet are not in contact with. I seem to get lucky about sitting next to people, no seat hogs or smelly people for me! Whew. Once, I wore wedge boots to the airport (because they would not fit in my suitcase– eek) and it was the WORST decision ever. I consider myself a girlie girl but it only takes airports to make me realize that I’m not that high maintenance.
I am always the last on the plane. It is not appealing to me at all to sit on a non moving plane!
WHY?!?! Do people sitting beside me ask where I’m headed? Uhhh….the same place as you, dumbass.
I’ve only been on a plane 4 times (2 trips, there and back) and every flight was a dream in coach! I am not trying to talk myself up but I’m a weaver of dreams. lol – my motto – ask and you shall receive. There’s really no harm in asking for a better seat, asking someone to switch seats /w you, lying and saying it’s your birthday, telling the truth and saying you’re on your way to get married – asking for complementary champagne. Talking to every one around you and forming friendships. Playing games /w neighbouring passengers.
I’m sorry your flight got delayed but any time before I have to go on a plane I meditate and simply picture the results I want. and four flights in – it’s worked :D
PS: I have no idea why those crazy girls wear high heels!
I HATE THE SEAT HOGS!! I think the unwritten rule is that if you sit in the middle, you get both the arm rests, or at least most of them. On our flight on Sunday, the dude at the window was taking up my ENTIRE arm rest, and then some, and even had his leg all up on mine. I was leaning hard against Nick to avoid it, but he just kept taking up more room. I wanted to scream “GET OUT OF MY PERSONAL SPACE!!” but I figured that would make me kinda crazyyyyy lol ;)
Also I’m with you re: boarding. If I have an assigned seat, I’m gonna be the last person on that plane!!
“Hold your breath!” hahah great post :D
Why is all the food so expensive and not very good either? and Why don’t all airports have free wifi?!
WHY does getting off an airplane make people forget the elementary grade school ettiquette of letting the people off in front of you?
WHY do people seemingly move in slow motion when doing anything related to travel? Including: walking through the airport, finding their seat, stowing bag, and deplaning. Seriously, is this everyone’s first time traveling?!
I think you covered all of my airport “why”s – except for whyy do I get so excited for airport food?
About the standing in line to board the plane first…. I am totally one of those people that do this. The reason I do it is because with airlines charging for bringing luggage more people are taking carryon. I have definitely been on planes were all of the overhead bins filled up before I got there and it sucked!!!
This is exactly my thought. Every time I board toward the end, they make me check my carry-on bag because the overhead bins are full. I’m always one of those obnoxious people who lines up early now!
Ha ha!!! This post had me laughing outloud bc it’s soooo try!!! Those are some of the same questions I ask myself everytime I fly. I always fly in Uggs to keep my feet warm. :-)
Hahaha! These are all so great…..and I’ve experienced almost all of them! I love to fly, people watch and smile at strangers…..then they’re asking what am I up too :)
xo
Have fun!
I’d love for you to smile at me! Then again, you aren’t really a stranger and hence it wouldn’t be as “creepy-what-are-you-up-to” type of stare…
Next time, you’re coming!
-Eden
Or is it to?
Oh well you get it!
haha too funny
I am that girl that gets the airport early and then end up not needing to get there early or I am the complete opposite when I am late and running through the airport. I have had only a few flights in my life that had no problems, those are good days :) oh the joys of traveling sometimes.
and I do not understand why either the plane has to be so damn cold!! I am always freezing, I know have to carry a light sweater with me just for that reason.
HUGS
bahahahaha this cracks me up. i agree with all of this. Why do women wear lace up boots also that take 30 mins to take off and on? PS i have the same old navy flip flops. my fav.
Oh my gosh. This made me literally “laugh out loud” Thank you :-) We have the same pet peeves while flying. Drives me crazy.
awesome list, j! have a wonderful trip. now you can forget about airports…at least til you have to fly home! love the pb/lipgloss stupidity, and the fact that airplanes are indeed freezing. i’ve learned to bundle up!
why…do i feel intimidated and scared going thru customs when i have done nothing wrong, have nothing to hide? i swear they give the agents steely eyes, upon hiring.
Ha, you made a spelling mistsake! :P
Haha ironic that you made a mistake on mistake!
It had to be at the very end of course! And how funny– I wonder if I was just thinking about getting in bed with deb?
that is the one! And don’t worry, nowhere near as bad as you-know-who….
haha! Well, Derek did leave tonight ;-)
(PS Sorry I’m late on commenting. I’ve been out having fun with some chicks.)
hee heee!!!!
Monday I was on a flight back from DC…the women in front of me literally smelled like a litter box. I sat behind them in the terminal and had to move. Then it was my luck that I was seated behind them on the plane. When the stewardess came around with drinks, she quietly asked me if I smelled something. I told her indeed and that I hadn’t taken a full breath in the last hour. Bless her, she moved me up to 1st Class! And then the flight attendants put coffee bags around the women. Sad, but one of them had a big coat that just smelled really bad.
seriously the pb and lip gloss thing? i dont understand it. i’ve brought mace through before and it wasnt taken…sort of alarming (i forgot about it). i also dont get the high heel thing…sometimes i think i should dress up and look cute for flights…but no f ing way…id way rather be comfortable.
HEHE. I feel the same about ALL of the above.
I am totally a person who does NOT wear heels or look particularly “cute” to fly. I am just going to get scrunched into a seat anyways, ya know?!
HAVE Fun!
that is so weird that every airport is so drastically different.
I’ve flown with Justin’s before and I’ve never been told anything. I’ve bagged lipglosses though and i’ve been laughed at. Craziness
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