this is what happened.

hey guys! it’s me, janetha g, yep.. i know, i’ve been MIA. i have been on twitter on facebook but really haven’t felt up to light hearted blogging. special thanks to eden, holly & christin for sending over spur of the moment guest posts for meals & moves! love you three.

i know you guys probably all wonder where i have been and what the crap is going on, right?  well, here i am. my family hit a major bump in the road on saturday.  and i am going to tell you what happened. i am sharing this with you all not because i want sympathy or because i want to dwell on it, but because it’s a big deal and part of life. plus i want to have it here so i remember.. blogs are journals, didn’t you know?

my mom and i both agree that what happened is something that should be out on the table because there may be others out there who have dealt with, are dealing with, or will deal with a similar situation and it’s good to talk about struggles. plus someone might be able to help her. you all know that i am not one to hold back—i mean, my drugs & alcohol post and suicide post are prime examples of my tendency to put it all out for all to see.  but what happened on saturday wasn’t something that (directly) happened to me.. so i didn’t want to blurt it out due to privacy issues.

it happened to my mom. AKA momma b. AKA my best friend.

circa thanksgiving 2009.

and momma b says i should blog about it. in her words:

I want you to know that if you want to blog about this I am just fine with that because I feel like there may be someone else out there who I might be able to help if they hear my story, you can decide but just saying you have my permission and blessing to share if you want to.

SO. here it is, in a nutshell.. well as small as a nutshell as possible, that is.

saturday around 11 AM i got a call from my dad. i remember his words exactly, as they are burned into my brain forever. “janetha, honey, we are at the hospital. mom had a stroke.”

the tears started flowing as marshall & i listened to my dad explain that my mom had walked upstairs and asked him what day it was. he said saturday, thinking she was joking around.  when she looked down at her sweet new blue puma kicks she recently snagged in vegas and asked him “where did these blue shoes come from?”, he knew something was wrong. after a few more minutes of talking to her, my dad realized that she thought  it was 2008. and she had no clue as to what was going on. TWO THOUSAND EIGHT.

he rushed her to the ER where they did all sorts of hosiptal-like tests. he told me he would call when he knew more.. and we hung up.

insert a whole bunch of freaking out. like. a whole bunch of FREAKING OUT. she’s so young! only 58! she’s so fit! she works out regularly! she’s so healthy! she eats well! why, why, why, why.. times 7 million.

around 4 PM on saturday, marshall and i were able to go up to her house to see her. the hospital had released her and said her memory should slowly start returning. they diagnosed her with a transient ischemic attack (or a TIA). not as bad as a full blown stroke, but really bad none the less. luckily all her motor functions were present. she could walk, write, talk, etc.. but she sure didn’t know WHAT she was talking about. that was the scary part. we spent a few hours with her and they were the worst hours ever. she did remember what year it was, but she couldn’t remember anything short term.  she would get suuuper excited when she remembered something, but then 3 minutes later she would remember the same thing. again. and again. and again. nothing stuck. i can’t put the feeling i felt into words. it’s like my mom was there, but she wasn’t there. and i hated it. every bit of it. i will stop trying to describe it, because i just can’t.

my brother and dad gave her a blessing on saturday evening. saturday was a restless night. i prayed that she would wake up normal on sunday. please, please, please god.. just let my mom be normal. and, miracles of miracles.. she woke up and was more like herself! things were still cloudy and she had a headache.. but she remembered what you said to her. i told her it was like she was super drunk for a week solid and just totally blacked out and now was trying to remember. she’s getting better and better as the days go by, she woke up today with no headache at all.

anyway, i’ve been spending a lot of time with her—that’s where i have been. cooking and eating and just being around. she went to a stroke center here in SLC all day yesterday and she has been lined up with a really good stroke specialist. they are going to find out exactly what happened to her on saturday. it’s still up in the air. and, since she can’t remember, we have no idea how or where in the house it happened. she was in her workout clothes, but she KNOWS she didn’t workout because she wasn’t sore the next day. how awesome is it that my mom forgets a whole day, but knows she didn’t work out due to lack of DOMS. love that lady.  hopefully this doc can give us some answers as to why this happened and how to prevent it from happening in the future-or at least know what to do immediately if it DOES happen again.

i talk about momma b a lot on my blog and i know a lot of you feel like you know her and SHE feels like she knows all of YOU. we both feel like this is something that you all needed to know about so you could understand what’s going on with us. we cannot express how grateful we are for all the comments, emails, messages and whatnot you all have sent our way. and blindly, not even knowing WHY you were thinking about us. i am blown away—and i know it made a difference.

so thank you. times a million. plus one.

so now i am trying to move on from the horrible experience.. but it is a little hard for me.  it is something that will forever be on my mind and there is no escaping that. you never forget the best day of your life but even more, you never forget the worst day of your life. but for now i am going to try to come back to blogging and act normal, k? because that’s what i need. normalcy. and i know that’s what my mom needs, too, and she likes to read my blog.. so blogging as usual shall commence starting now.

last night i made up a DELICIOUS new recipe and took it to my parents’ house to devour.

chicken pot pie casserole.

i mean, did you think it wouldn’t be a casserole? you know me. obsessed.

recipe coming soon!

it was too good!! marshall had seconds, my dad had thirds and i ate leftovers for lunch today. i am sad the leftovers are gone!

one awesome surprise that was delivered to my mom’s house was this edible arrangement~

 

susan, danica and holly—YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING. thank you!  

we ate almost the whole arrangement last night.

 

the best part? the bananas covered with dark AND milk chocolate AND peanut butter inside. um. yum.

side note: looks like i need some sleep.

who needs flowers when there’s chocolate covered fruit? thanks so much, ladies! love you.

that was last night. tonight, i came home to another wonderful surprise:

elise and her husband kyle sent NIBBLERS!

so, so thoughtful. thank you elise! i took half of the cookies to momma b and they are officially almost gone. i attacked the snickerdoodles immediately. just sayin.

it blows me away how amazing blog friends are. i think we need to buy an island and all us bloggers need to move there and live there and eat cereal for the rest of our lives. deal? sounds good to me.

well, i will be back later with a less heavy post. it feels good to be back and even better to clue you all in on what’s going on with my fam. thank again for all your support.

no questions for today, just lots of love to you all!

xo. janetha g.