i can’t even count how many valentine’s day recap posts i have read today! i think that blog world loves valentine’s day even more than thanksgiving or christmas. or at least that’s what it seems like from all the fun, lovely and cute posts.
i will try to keep the details from my valentine’s day celebration short. as i mentioned, marshall & i don’t make a big to-do about the holiday. but we do have one tradition: marshall makes me tacos.
he has a big plate of tacos and i have a big taco salad. this was our third year (and third different kitchen!) doing this. it was actually our fourth valentine’s day together. the first year we were dating, we did the whole cliché thing. nice dinner out to a super expensive restaurant, chocolate fondue and really pricey, nice gifts for each other. after one valentine’s day like that, we realized it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and have been eating tacos ever since. fine by me!
i did get marshall a pair of sanuks.. not for valentine’s day necessarily, but it was a good reason to get them. i’d been meaning to buy him a black pair ever since he told me how much he likes his multicolored pair.
what is really exciting is what he got for me. a card. just a card. but it’s what the card said that is the best thing ever. “hair goes to heaven in 2011”—with a little note saying that he will shave his face any time i ask him to for a WHOLE YEAR. someone pinch me.. i’m dreaming. i hate scratchy facial hair. he hates shaving. you guys, this is true love.
this shouldn’t come as a shock: i made homemade oreo (newmanO) ice cream for dessert.
i swear i am going to try making healthy ice cream with my ice cream maker. sometime soon. maybe. in the meantime, ben & jerry’s recipe for cookies & cream ice cream is fine by me!
we ended up falling asleep on the couch last night. this happens a lot, but we usually meander into the bedroom after about an hour of what i call “couch sleep”. i don’t think couch sleep is equal to real (bed) sleep. you just aren’t as rested after couch sleep. but, get this, we never ended up going to our bed! ughh.. 7 hours of couch sleep later and i felt like i’d been up all night. don’t ask me why i didn’t bother to get up and go to my bed. i am still asking myself the same question.
ANYWAY—love crunch giveaway winner=#61!
congratulations, please send me your mailing address so i can sent you your love crunch!
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i realize my memory is not the best. if you have been reading my blog for awhile, you probably realize this, too. i say i am going to post about something and then TOTALLY space it. it isn’t that i am flaky, just forgetful.
this time, however, i am not flaky OR forgetful. i have just been on vacation and had to recap my trip! that is my excuse and i’m sticking to it. oh, are you wondering what i am even talking about?
remember when i started the 30 day challenge? yeah. i left off on number four and high tailed it to mexico. i am back, caught up and ready to pick back up where i left off. it may not be a 30 day challenge, but you can bet i will make it through the challenge.. eventually.
number 5: talk about a time you thought about ending your own life.
this is a topic i try not to think about too often. i am past the bad experiences in my life that made me want to kill myself and i figure those thoughts are best left alone. but, a challenge is a challenge, so i will ramble a little bit about the topic.
beginning in jr high and continuing into high school, i was friends with a group of about 10 girls. we were all really close friends and hung out all the time. i considered these girls my very best friends! in fact, my current best friend, kristen, was one of them. we go way back. here is a photo of us in jr. high for your viewing pleasure:
my house was a popular hangout. two of our guy friends lived directly next door to me and so our houses were kind of the meeting ground for us to hang out. we couldn’t drive, so we usually just sat in someone’s basement or in adjoining backyards. plus, momma b always stocked our house with tons of good snacks. what can i say, my house was fun and we were ALWAYS there. me and my very best girl friends. and our guy friends, of course.
anyway, i am not sure what led up to this, but in 9th grade (and part of 10th) i became the victim of being bullied. not by other peers.. but by some of these girls who i considered my best friends. they just started being really mean to me. i had NO idea why. maybe it was because of the funky pointing thing i am doing in this photo?
by the way, this was at a sleepover and i was in pajamas.. i didn’t wear oversized men’s fila Tshirts aside from pajama time.
every day was like hell.. i can’t recount every example but here are a few things they did:
- verbally put me down any chance that came up
- buried my new dr. marten sandals deep into the mud (at a sleepover)
- put gum in my hair (at a sleepover)
- constantly made fun of the mole on my nose (i had it removed at the age of 18—that is a story for another day)
- constantly left me out of inside jokes and said them around me all the time
- someone peed in a bottle of coke and it was passed off to me to drink, i didn’t know it had been peed in until someone told me.. yeah, gross
- wrote “we hate you, DIE” on my bedroom window in shaving cream
the last one is probably the worst. even worse than the pee/coke thing. i will never be able to erase the mental image i have from seeing that written on my window. ew, i can’t even think about it. this was so hard for me to handle! kristen and a few of the other girls (one even reads my blog—hi kristin!) weren’t a part of the bullying, but it surprised me to know that my so called “best friends” had been doing these things to me. there was a ringleader, sara, who.. for SOME unknown reason.. had power over our other friends. she was popular and apparently people would just do what she told them to do.. even at the expense of my feelings.
ugh, this is shitty to think about and to write about.
so, i tried to kill myself. hmm.. i don’t think i have ever typed that out. i thought about it for a long time and wrote my feelings in a notebook. i even left individual notes to people for them to see after i was gone. i researched ways to do it and i eventually decided the best thing to do was try to drown myself in the bathtub. oh my gosh, that sounds horrible, what was i thinking?! clearly, i wasn’t. i was a mentally abused teenager who believed there was nothing to live for and life was totally over.
good thing i am a wuss, because i didn’t go through with anything. it was too scary and hard! i wanted to be dead but i didn’t want to do the deed. if that makes sense. i didn’t kill myself but i also became super depressed. because of the extreme amount of bullying that i endured, i believed i was worthless. who would want to spend time being my friend? yes, i was still friends with the girls who were in our tight circle but didn’t participate in the bullying, but THEY were friends with the mean girls (as i call them) and so it created quite a conflict of interest.
as i got older, i made other girl friends in high school and stopped hanging out with the other girls for the most part. we still were always around each other, but i just felt like crap whenever i was around them. especially the ringleader. oh, she was so mean. i can’t even imagine why she ever wanted to be so mean. i mean, why? what’s the use?
sorry this recollection is a little random and blurry. i think the drugs i did in my younger years have fogged my memory a tad. no, seriously.. my memory sucks. but you get the gist of what i went through.
i am so glad i was able to make other friends, REAL friends, (and keep the old ones who are still near and dear to me—just not the mean ones) and move on from the whole horrible experience. i learned a lot about life. even though i had to shed a lot of tears and think a lot of negative things about myself, i got through it. and came out a stronger person because of it. for sure.
and now i love my life. i still deal with drama among friends, but i have grown up enough to know that while growing apart from close friends sucks A LOT, it is not worth killing yourself over.
sure am glad i made it through my teenage years.
i sometimes wonder what those girls think of how they treated me. i wonder if they know what they did to my head. i know most of them have children of their own now.. i hope they teach their children to be kind to everyone and not do any of the horrible things they did when they were younger.
what i want to end this with is a request. PLEASE make an effort to be nice to everyone you talk to.. every day. you never know if someone is experiencing bullying or what their personal life is like. and one negative comment could set them right over the edge to do something drastic. i try to be nice to everyone and be friends with everyone. life’s just better that way.
whew. that was heavy. i need some ice cream.
Qs~
1. i am not going to ask you to tell me a time you wanted to kill yourself.. BUT, i do want to hear if you have any experience with bullying? have you ever had to deal with it in any way? i bet a few bloggie teachers have dealt with it! hopefully none of you were victims of it like i was. feel free to chime in with anything you want to say!
2. how do you feel about facial hair? i don’t mind how it looks.. but i hate kissing marshall’s scruffy face. (of course, that doesn’t stop me!)
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ugh….girls can be so mean. For real. Its unbelievable how many women I know have been bullied by their so called friends.
On a lighter note- WHAT a dinner! That is an ideal valentine’s day dinner in my mind. Great job Marshall! And a fabulous present too! I actually like it when Josh gets a little shaggy, but it drives him nuts.
Much <3 to you!
I hate facial hair–especially mustaches. My husband actually shaved his stache off for me as a Vday gift! It made me ridiculously happy–he’s been growing it since Christmas and it was so itchy and… yuck.
so funny that the gifts we got didn’t cost a dime but meant the world to us, no? love that!
I’d been begging him to PLEASE shave it for weeks and weeks and he kept torturing me and saying he was going to grow handlebars (sidenote–the only ppl who like handlebar mustaches are other men). Then, when I least expected it, it was gone. :)
I went through a similar experience, except it was 8th grade, and ALL my friends turned on me. The ones who weren’t outright making fun of me just flat our ignored me. The ring leaders encouraged everyone in our grade to ignore me. And I had no idea what I did wrong. I just came to school one day and didn’t have any friends.
It was really, really lonely.
I started eating lunch with two sixth graders. They were the only people in my small school who didn’t decide to hate me. I had a great time with them that year, but, yeah, still a very lonely year.
Thankfully, high school came next, and with it, friends who weren’t in my grade. My high school friends were pretty awesome. They were the kooky kids, so no matter what I did, they loved me.
But, yeah, 8th grade was pretty awful. That was the year I would intentionally sit in detention during lunch so I could read, and no one could interrupt me or talk to me.
i don’t mind facial hair, on my bf i think its sexay! but i dont care for the scratchiness.. darn.
i love your vday tradition, sounds fab.
I can’t stand facial hair. It works on some guys though. Just not my husband!
You blow me away with these posts. I admire your raw and fearless honesty. I used to be bullied too (who wasn’t?!) I remember the neighbor boys always calling me a dog. They would stand at the bus stop and bark until the bus came. It’s funny how these things stick with us forever.
I think I had the same frienemies. I never actually made a plan, just didn’t want to wake up one morning. Thanks for posting about this. Thank you for your honesty. And thank you for still being here.
I had a really similar experience in middle school. It is also painful for me to think about, even though its been over ten years. Girls were horrible. This was just when the internet was starting to get popular, and this one girl made websites (I think they were livejournal pages or the original blog type things). She devoted the websites to talking about me, how everyone hated me, called me a million different names, told me that I was worthless and should do the world a favor and kill myself…it was really damaging to an insecure tween, as I’m sure it would be quite hurtful and damaging to anyone. But especially at that age, when all you want is to be liked and accepted…and you feel so insecure already. It was devastating.
Anyway, you are really brave to share your story. I’m sure a lot of people can relate. I certainly can, even though I never really talk about it. It’s amazing how hurtful words stick with you.
I thank God I never had an experience like that and I am truly sorry you ever had to deal with it. I was more like that kid who everyone was pleasant to, but didn’t really get to know…I was very shy. But you know, I vividly remember one of my friends being driven from my Catholic school. After her 6th grade year, she transferred to public school because a group of girls were so incredibly mean. It’s hard to believe that this kind of treatment is some sort of twisted accepted tween/teen culture.
I really enjoyed reading such an honest post. It helps give me the courage to write about a few things that I want to share, but keep chickening out, afraid that somehow the real me won’t be as likeable once posted for all of blog world to see.
gosh janetha, I am so sorry you went through this. But I am so glad that you are strong and knew that your life is precious. You know why? Because you are amazing and I am so honored to have you in my “blog” life. Its people like you bring good to light even in the depth of darkness. Thanks for sharing dear friend.
LC
p.s.
Hope Marshall enjoys his sanuks. yea!
You seem like such an amazing person, I cant imagine that anyone would ever want to bully you. I love reading your blog everyday and I am happy you are alive and well!
I’m sorry you had to deal with all of that. I know how awful bullying can be – I was constantly bullied throughout school for being obese. It’s hard. Very, very hard.
I LOVE facial hair; I think it’s so sexy.
Andy loves his sanuks! I want to find a girly pair but they only sell men’s near us. Annoying!
I want you to make me ice cream. I have been so lazy with mine. I need to try out some of the Ben and Jerry’s flavors.
Reading this makes me wish that we lived in the same city, I know we’d be good friends. I went through a tough time with bullying too and it was horrible. I never want to see any of my students or my own kids go through that. I had a boyfriend and his friends tease me about my weight all of the time. Ugh. Even remembering it makes me feel sick.
I try to talk to my students about this all of the time. Especially when I was working at the middle school level. It’s scary out there.
Love you!
I totally love how open youve become since this 30 day challenge!
Suicide is no easy subject. In many ways, I was like you and wanted to die but never actually “do the deed”. Enter my eating disorder: it was a slow way to kill myself, without outright doing it.
Anyhow, about bulling, I was never really a victim, but I do know of people that were severely scarred by it and by hazing! Thats why I never even touched sorority houses when I got to college! In many ways, I think my eating disorder bullied me. No pee /coke was involved, but it for sure wanted me dead. Good thing I got some balls and bullied it right back.
I’m not a huge fan of facial hair. Although cute, I would not want to kiss a porcupine.
I had two bullying periods in my life. One was in middle school, same thing… my “best friends” were tearing me down behind my back, stealing my CDs, earrings, a cocker spaniel figurine my mom got for me (wtf?), leaving notes where I could find them about how much they hated me… they had a whole notebook about it that I found later on. At such a vulnerable period in my life, I couldn’t figure out what I had done wrong… and that’s just it, I didn’t do anything “wrong.” They were just horrible girls.
And then in high school I was subjected to bullying again, and I will never understand this. This girl stole my boyfriend from me, and then proceeded to make my life hell. She had the guy, and yet still felt some sick need to torture me, including me coming out to my car one day after school to have bitch, slut, and c*nt written all over the windows in shoe polish. Other girls I didn’t even know would tell me what a skank and a whore I was when they passed by me in the hallways. It was insanity.
What really kills me is these girls probably don’t even ever think about me anymore, which is fine… but I have these memories etched in my brain for eternity… vividly. And to anyone who didn’t know better, these were “good” kids. What drives young girls to be so WRONG to each other? It’s heartbreaking.
I hear ya on the drug/memory thing. Good LORD my memory sucks monkey balls. Drugs are bad, mmkay?
And I too hate facial hair. No fun for snuggles. Thank god Alex has actually been keeping the beastly facial hair tamed more often as of late. Smooth face kisses make me happy lady.
For what it’s worth, you’re one of my favorites <3
Oh, girl – that was so brave of you to post and my heart hurts that you had to go through with that. Jr high and high school girls can be plain evil. I can’t imagine why ANYONE would want to be mean to YOU.
Poor sweet Janetha Bean. Remind me that you get an extra long hug when I see you.
I was fortunate enough to go to a really small school where everyone was pretty much accepted. There may be others who have their own stories, but I just don’t think there was bullying. I do remember this girl just being really mean and spreading lies about some of us to the new foreign exchange student, but that was about it.
That’s not to say I haven’t totally been betrayed by women I was friends with.
For the most part I’m nice to everyone, but I had to get tough on my neighbor today because she and her dog are bullying the neighborhood. I called Animal Control, and it was not pretty.
Chris had a beard from our first snow in November through Superbowl. It looked hot on him, and I got kinda used to it but I’m glad he finally shaved it off. :)
We feel the same way about V-Day. Chris gave me a card that made me cry even though someone else had written all the words. I gave him a bug zapping tennis racquet that we could have used on our last camping trip. We ate Domino’s. Maybe in 2 years for our 15th V-day, we’ll go crazy!
Kids can be so cruel. I just don’t get it. I mean, I did my fair share of making fun of people and had my fair share of being made fun of… but to torture someone, who was your friend, for no reason… terrible! :(
Whoa that was hard and caused reflection and tears…..I loved you then and I love you now! You have really risen above the crowd and I’m so proud of you!
Yes I was treated like crap made fun of, not invited to parties or invited but told the wrong day and time, had chairs pulled out from under me etc etc…. it was hell but I made it through with the help of my big brother who always believed in me and reminded me I was of worth!!
My dad had a mustache that tickled me when he kissed me good night! Now I just like to look at facial hair haha! xo
Can I get that entire meal please? Thanks.
I love facial hair on men but then again, I am a hippie on the inside so thats why. On women, not so much. I’m Italian and am dreading the day I find someone on my face. It’ll ruin the money maker!
And yeah, I need to catch up on that challenge!
Im sorry you went through that.
Jason always tries to grow a goatee and I hate it! His facial hair grows really fast and he’s lazy, so the goatee makes an appearance way more than I’d like.
Thanks for sharing this! Quite the experience, it’s hard to imagine why anyone would want to be so mean, but it’s nice to look back and think that in retrospect, life is about so much more than those teenage years. I suppose I was lucky to not have experienced serious bullying, not that I was immune to teenage depression at all.
On a lighter note – the facial hair gift is awesome!!! I hate facial hair, it’s scratchy! My man also doesn’t groom his if it grows out, aside from a trim or two near his lips. I appreciate expertly groomed minimal facial hair, but it’s like full on lumberjack or nothing with him! :P Thankfully he shaves at least every few days, minus the one time a year he grows out a full beard for his trip to Wisconsin with his boys. Men… sigh. haha ;)
Oh my word. What a touching story…I try so hard to teach the kiddos in my class to be kind to each other because I know how far bullying can go. I was also bullied in middle school and I used to sit in my garage and cry to my mom that I wanted to kill myself after school almost every day. It was so miserable, and I wish people didn’t have to go though crap like that. But in the end, I’m sure I’m a stronger person and I can pass the lessons I learned on to the kiddos in my class.
I like a little scruff. :-)
i was bullied a lot when i was in elementary school. i went to a really small catholic school (6 students in my 6th grade class) and all of a sudden, they decided that they didn’t like me. they teased me and wouldn’t be my friend anymore. honestly, i’m not even friends with any of them anymore. i literally cried every day of 6th grade. it was horrible.
thankfully, i changed schools after that year and made some real friends who i am still close with today!
Serious props for putting this out there for everyone to see. It must have been hard to have to “re-live” it in a way to be able to type it out. I think it’s important though for other people who may be in that position right now to see that life does go on. Some of my closest girl friends bullied me in high school as well, not quite to the extent of what you went through, but they still made me feel like the odd girl out of our “group.” It truly does feel like the end of the world when even your closest friends are making jokes at your expense. I think when someone who is going through that right now reads this post of yours and sees how extremely happy you are years later it will help them to see there is plenty to live for. Great post!
I hate facial hair too!! my hubs has to shave everyday or else…
Girls can be ridiculous.. I bet that sara girl is an oober now.. thats what the mean/popular girls are now that were “cool” in jr. high.. I was teased/bullied everyday why? because I had no boobs. ya. w.t.h? well, now their fake and fabulous. enough said. ;)
People say to blow them off and not let them get to you, but its hard.. ok.. its impossible. Words hurt almost more then actions.
loves xoxo
I have never been bullied but I am a high school teacher, so I encounter a lot. I do what I can–I make my classroom a “safe area”, no one picks on anyone else and breed a great group dynamic in there so everyone feels comfortable.
After the recent rash of suicides, Ive also taken to making sure I say at least one thing to EVERY single one of my students, every day. Asking them how there day is going/how a test was/what theyre doing that weekend. Something, so they know someone genuinely cares about them even if they dont.
I also give them sappy talks about how I love them all as people and consider them my peeps and hope they will come talk to me if they have a problem!
(PS I am a math teacher–so they probably think I am crazy for being so involved with them!)
Phew–I ended up writing way more than I intended to about the subject, but its something I feel really strongly about!
first, “we realized it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and have been eating tacos ever since. fine by me!”–totally on the same page
I have been doing the challenge, too. About 2x/week and totally out of order, but it’s been fun.
I am honored to read the topic you chose today…major props for posting about this and for being so honest, real, and open. Thank you.
I was the victim of extreme bullying in school. To the point that I switched high schools. Lots more to the story there too but one reason i switched was b/c of bullying. I never really contemplated taking my own life but I was depressed beyond all recognition.
I should probably post about it on my own site but I don’t have the courage you do to air it ALL out there.
You’re amazing :)
I was bullied from 4 years old to 10th grade– even a bit in 11th. I’m a senior in high school now, and I have to tell you… the bullying is what triggered my eating disorder. Boys would taunt me about being chunky, a nerd, my birthmark, and whatever else they could get their mealy hands on. Yet, I’m grateful for it though. It taught me a whole lot about life, about exercise! (because in order to combat that eating disorder i found Healthy Living Blogs and stuff like Zumba and ellipticalling and etc as well as strength training <3), and about how to cope. I'm almost through the end of my eating disorder, and I know that I found myself throughout the process. I choose to be thankful for what the bullies did to me, not the other way around.
Thanks for sharing this story…..and for sharing quite a few personal details lately. I absolutely LOVE reading blogs but sometimes I find myself feeling negative about my life because I compare it to the “perfect” lives that I read about in blogs. It is so refreshing to see that everybody has their ups and downs and that, no matter how bad life may seem, something so much better is around the corner. I hate mean girls and I am sure they just do it all out of their own insecurities. You have Marshall now and the pups and your life now does appear to be pretty wonderful so your happiness is the best revenge!!!
Janetha. This is such a heavy post. I am sure you feel a lot better after writing it and I feel better that I am not alone! I think every group of tweens/teens has a “ring leader”. In 7th grade, I was just like every other girl, awkward and all, and then I grew 5 inches. I was 5’9” and wore a 25″ inseam! I was the epitome of awkward. Anyway, I decide to chop my hair off. I had a picture of how I wanted it to look, but it didn’t exactly turn out that way. I was literally tormented by EVERYONE in my class. And the classes around me! I pretended to be injured during track season because I didn’t want to be around all the mean kids. The one name that sticks out….and I’m totally embarrassed to say this… was, “penis head”. Seriously, who comes up with that? It was so hurtful and everyone joined in to torment me. I had friends who still “stuck up for me” in front of my face, but still talked crap behind my back. I was so grateful when I went to high school and was able to meet an entire new group of friends who loved me for me!
Sorry for the novel, I know you have a bunch to read! Oh and I hate facial hair. I even think my bf looks better when he doesn’t have any at all…..mostly because his doesn’t even grow in evenly ;)
Oh my God, Janetha. I had no idea you had such a past…I’m so sorry for your horrible experience…dang, some girls can be such bitches…and they don’t realize the repercussion of it, and how much it hurts people. But you know what? Look at you now. The Janetha I know is fun, spunky, glamorous, beloved by all, and damn HOT!!!!! I’m proud of who you are!!! And don’t you ever be less proud about yourself too, my fine girl!
I’ve also had suicides thoughts…I recently wrote about it here, actually: http://www.burpandslurp.com/2011/02/13/weekend-ed-series-my-ed-twin/
1. Oh Janetha, I am so sorry to hear about your experiences with being bullied. Unfortunately, I’ve often wanted to kill myself. (Wow, I don’t think I’ve actually ever admitted that). These thoughts began when I was the fat girl in elementary school (you can imagine how that went), but then they only increased when I developed anorexia. Depression follows you, no matter what size you are, apparently.
Anyway, this is all to say: thanks for being honest about this topic, and you’re not alone.
2. I like a little bit of scruff or clean-shaven, but no beards, please!
My father committed suicide in October. He hung himself in his bedroom. I’ve never experienced a moment in which I felt like I wanted to take my life, largely because I am truly afraid of physical pain, but hearing what happens in your mind and leads you to think about it is cathartic for me. I have so many questions. And, for me, this was good to read. Good to cry over. Just one more step in grieving and trying to understand. Thank you for being brave.
Facial hair tickles my neck and that makes me laugh right now. I also have to say I am taking sewing lessons with my 9 yr old in our home…today we had to measure and cut the crotch of sleep pants….my daughter had me in giggles saying crotch! ok hope that makes you smile too.
Bully…oh KUnger could tell you my take on this…I get FURIOUS…take you out as a MOTHER mad. We have the pretty girl next door, long hair, pretty skin, clothes galore…her parents paid for it all…NOT bankruptcy, 7 liens, blah blah…in nice area of town. Anyway that lil girl left my daughter out of games, fun things, etc…they were 7 yrs old and the bully was FIVE FIVE FIVE! The last straw was she told my red headed, fair skinned, love kissed daughter that she was Weird b/c she had red hair! That put me over the top and I basically took the mother out when she would not leave my yard….ok I didn’t deck her but I told her off and she kept pushing my buttons…I responded well we all know where your daughter learned her tricks. Good luck with parenting that child….now do not ever come in my yard and I shall not speak to you again…done, written off, the end. It has worked and now the whole area figured out on their own that this kid is a brat and bully. My daughter is tough and a good girl! I am sorry you were treated this way…if you run into Sara you should confront her….it might help her.
oh man, that is a sad story for sure. i am sorry that such terrible things happened to you. as a mom i would be so horrified to find out that my kids ever did something so mean and vicious. i only have boys and thank goodness that isn’t the way boys take care of things.
i was never bullied. there was a skinny hood-rat girl that wanted to beat me up in high school, but then i laughed at her and said i could sit on her and she wouldn’t be able to beat me up anymore , then she transfered out of class!! i did have a little brother that was bullied alot though. he was so cute and sweet, and for some reason a group of boys in our ward just started picking on him. i’m 10 years older than him but you better beleive i cussed out those punk kids on many occasions. it truly breaks my heart to even think about someone doing that to one of my boys. i swear i will go ape sh** on them!
on a lighter note. valentines taco dinner is awesome! if i didn’t make heart shaped pizzas i would consider it, cause any time is taco time!
I could of wrote that.
Was bullied to the point of psychiatric intervention. That was after the first suicide attempt.
I was very portly, had terrible skin, and liked different things (horses, books, ect).
Apparently that makes you enemy number one in middle school.
I’m so very glad you are a wuss.
When the girls are tweens, can you come talk to them. You will be their cool Aunt J and they will listen to you. You really can use all these experiences to help others. You already are.
PS I am have tons of moles. We call them angel kisses.
A small amount of scruff is sexy, but there is a point where it is itchy and not fun to kiss… I am mostly a fan of a clean shave though :)
When I was 13, my family moved from Minneapolis, Minnesota to a small town in Nebraska. From day one, I was made fun of by some of the cattiest girls I have ever met. And they made fun of everything. My clothes, my accent, you name it. I cried nearly every day once I got home from school. Luckily for me, when I went to high school, I met new people. And yeah, we didn’t always get along, but it was never like it was in jr high.
I did not speak to many of those girls after we went to high school, and don’t really speak to any of them any more. Being 13 and moving to a new state is hard enough, without those bitches (sorry for the profanity, but they were) teasing me every day. It still hurts to think about it to this day, and that was nearly 15 years ago. Wow.
Janetha, your whole childhood is so bewildering to read about! I didn’t experience much bullying growing up, but I DID have a really bitchy friend. She was always picking fights about the stupidest things, and I would just have to wait until she decided that the ice had melted. When she started bringing some of her friends (not mine) into her fights with me senior year of high school, I put my foot down and broke up with her. I smile now remembering how boyfriend-like my statement of “I don’t think our friendship is worth it anymore” was! She’s still the friend (and roommate) of one of my other best friends, but thankfully we all work around each other, and that other best friend is almost and the end of her rope too. It blows my mind to think that that was less than 4 years ago! College has been much less complicated in that arena.
And about beards. I love them! Really, I don’t like boys without at least a bit of stubble. Teehee :)
I got bullied a lot in junior high, too… Because I had really bad cystic acne. It wasn’t even something I could control, but groups of kids would surround me and yell mean things at me to the point that I started refusing to go to school. As usual, there was a ringleader, and her name was Ashley Mansur – also ‘popular’.
The best part was that the next year I decided to dress different in an attempt to scare them off so that they’d stop bullying me…I also went on the acne miracle drug: Accutane. Then, the most glorious thing happened – THEY got acne! Oh what a joyous day that was!
I ended up going to boarding school because junior high did such a number on me, and I am eternally grateful for that experience. Cliques don’t have room to exist when your school is only 150 people across 4 grades. I actually ended up on student council, honor roll, and playing varsity tennis.
If I ever have kids, I plan on sending them to boarding school, just like me, because it is awesome!!! :)
Such an honest post. Thank you for sharing.
I have a few stories of my own, bullying, etc. but none that I am brave enough to reveal on my blog.
You are an amazing and beautiful person. I’m glad you have someone that realizes how amazing you are and makes you tacos :)
Hey! I’ve been a long time reader but never comment! I appreciate your honesty in all posts but these challenging topics as well! So sorry you had to go through that BUT so happy you were able to get passed it! I admire your strength and courage…LOVE your attitude in general! Have a great day girl!
Katie : )
first, what a coool gift from marshall!! wow, so creative, and a real shaving commitment for him to do!! what a sweet idea.
love your taco/salad tradition. thumbs up for making your own traditions.
thanks so much for sharing about the bullying – i give you so much credit for being so open and honest. girls can be so mean…sorry you had to go through that. but i get the sense that you are so caring with the friends in your life NOW; you learned from the experience.
have a great wednesday!
oh this post broke my heart. i just don’t understand bullying.
but…onto the Valentine Tacos. I love it. And Marshall’s gift to you is TRUE love. And now I want B&J oreo ice cream for breakfast.
I am so sorry that you had to go through all of this. People can be so hurtful and mean. It’s really awful. I don’t know how you could do that to another person. You are such an incredibly brave and strong person. I really enjoy reading your blog and I love how open you are with your readers. :)
I am not a fan of facial hair at all. I hate when my boyfriend hasn’t shaved for a while and gets scruffy! It hurts to kiss him but I do it anyway. The best is right after he has just shaven his face. It’s so soft :)
first of all, thank you for sharing…that had to be hard, but the thing is you’re happy now and SO loved! even by people who’ve never met you!
nate has a full-on beard….it all started one year when we went to visit family and he forgot to bring a razor. and he just never shaved again! i don’t mind it, as long as he keeps it short, but i think it’s super sexy when he shaves all the way!
Oh my goodness! That is seriously awful. I had similar (not as extreme) experiences in middle school which made me feel pretty bad about myself. I’m glad you were able to get through girl, you are truely inspirational.
when i started a new school in 4th grade, i was teased a lot by the “popular” girls because of what i wore and how i looked. i was a tomboy and had shorter hair. my mom struggled to take care of my brother and me, so we had Goodwill/hand-me-down clothes. it was awful. when i got older, it didn’t stop. i was bullied through about 9th grade. totally sucked.
my BF has facial hair. i love it, he looks so handsome! i also like when he shaves though too. it doesn’t bother me either way to kiss him except after he starts growing his beard back and i’m not used to it.
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