three tip thursday [8].

by Janetha on June 14, 2012

in guest posts,tips

hello! it’s been a minute since i have done three tip thursday, so i am really excited to bring the feature back today.

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today’s guest is alicia. i met alicia a few months ago when i met with fitmixer for the first time.  she works for VMI nutrition/fitmixer. she came to blend retreat and i had a chance to hang out with her. she’s so much fun! she also happens to be my neighbor, love dogs, has a motorcycle (well, her boyfriend does…) and likes fitness. hmmm.. now i am asking myself why the hell haven’t we hung out yet?! alicia, let’s change that.

here she is!!

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Three Tip Thursday: It’s okay to…

Hey Everyone!

My name is Alicia, I blog and help with fitness/nutrition over at fitmixer.com. I’m so honored Janetha asked me to be part of Three Tip Thursday! How awesome is that?! Does this bring me to a whole new level of legit? I think so. The problem is…I’m extremely nervous. I’m new-ish to the blogging world and Janetha is the blog Sensei. So… I really hope you enjoy this so I can come back again! :)

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Not gonna lie, I had a hard time coming up with three tips. What does one write about when one suffers from a severe case of writers block? Seriously though, it takes me about a week to write ONE blog for fitmixer. Does it ever get easier?! Anyway, I learn a lot from Janetha’s blog, as I’m sure you do too, so I wanted this to be at least a little enlightening.

To save you from a long, drawn out post, I’ll give you the “nut shell” prologue. In the last 6 months I have turned a major corner. I’m a whole different person than I was. I feel like I have a new lease on life and I’m just starting to see for the first time. I have some humiliation still with admitting that I was suffering from depression and anxiety. (Like severe.) When I think about what I have learned in these past 6 months, there are lots of things that stick out in my mind… but today, I just want everyone to know that it’s ok to…

1. Have a breakdown.

While the events leading up to a breakdown are sucky, this is the moment when you are ready to change. Your body and mind are telling you that you’re not happy and something needs to be done. Having a breakdown gives you the opportunity to rebuild yourself, exactly the way you want.

One of my favorite quotes is, “You have to have a breakdown to have a breakthrough.”

Don’t be ashamed of a breakdown. They happen. To a lot of people. Probably everyone. And you usually rise way above them and turn out a better person, so it’s ok.

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I mentioned in the prologue I’ve recently had a breakthrough. Well, trust me, there was a definite breakdown before that. One of the many things that came out of that breakdown was reconnecting with my half-sister I haven’t seen in 15 years. Yep, that’s us on Easter of this year. It’s the first time seeing each other since she was 4 and I was 10.

2. Wear black with brown.

How boring would life be if we had to follow EVERY rule??? I’ll admit, I love like to break a little rule here and there. :) One of my favorites…mixing black with brown. Ugh! You would not believe the crap I get for it! But come on, express yourself! If you want to wear plaids with stripes, silver and gold, or white after Labor Day, you go right ahead and do it. No shame.

Don’t hold something back because you’re afraid of what people will think. It only matters that you are staying true to yourself. Be you.

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This picture is me being me. I got a new tattoo which I got a ton of crap for…but I don’t care! It means so much to me. Also, please notice the mixture of leopard print, on leopard print. So I’m obsessed, and it may be over the top, and why would anyone do that?? But I love it. So I’m gonna rock it. :) No shame.

3. Be a little selfish.

So, this is a really good one. No one wants to intentionally be selfish but if you want to be happy you’re going to need to be a little bit selfish sometimes.

Be selfish with your time. Allocate as many days a week for however many minutes to get your workout in. Because it’s THAT important. Make sure you’re getting quality time with your family and loved ones. Don’t let work or miniscule things take away your time with the people that matter the most.

Be selfish with your feelings. If there are people or things in your life that are toxic to you, get rid of them. It’s ok. There are a couple immediate family members I had to remove from my life because they would always bring me down. It’s hard, and it hurts, but I’m here to tell you it has made the biggest positive difference in my life. Honest. Surround yourself with only the people that will lift you up and push you forward.

Be selfish with the foods that you eat and feed to your family. Yourself aside, don’t you think your family deserves to have the best? The most valuable? Don’t put crap into their/your body because you don’t want to take time to make something more nutritious, or you don’t want to spend a little more money, or whatever your reasons may be. You are worth real food. You are worth making time for your health.

You are worth living a happy and fulfilled life. So take that and run! This is your one life, your one chance, so make sure you’re happy.

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This is my guy, Steve. :) We make sure we have enough quality time together. He makes me the happiest so it only makes sense that I want to spend my time with him.

Well thanks so much for letting me participate and throw out my three two cents! I hope you were able to take away something from this. And I look forward to engaging more with you all! :)

Q: What are ways you can be a little more selfish with your time?

Q: What do you do that goes against society’s view of “normal” and you just don’t care?

Q: Was there ever a time you had a breakdown that lead to a breakthrough?

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Kelly @ No Sugar Sweet Life June 14, 2012 at 4:47 pm

What a lovely post!! I don’t know what you’re talking about… you were meant to blog! Thank you for your tips – they were very insightful and challenging as well. I think being selfish with your time and your food are so important… and for me, it took having a baby and being IN CHARGE of her every bite of food, her daily needs, etc. that woke me up to living a healthier life. It’s been an amazing year – I’ve lost over 50 pounds… and couldn’t be happier!!! And when she asks for more broccoli at dinner I just get a huge grin on my face :)

Alicia June 15, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Thanks so much!! :) I’m SO happy I got to do this! And congrats on the 50 lb loss… That’s awesome!!

Gina June 14, 2012 at 4:59 pm

great post! one thing I always have to remind myself is too never be so busy making a living that I neglect to make a life. designated fitness, family, and fun time is a must!

Carrie June 14, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Beautiful message and beautifully said! Way to go girl! Important values to hold true! :)

katie June 14, 2012 at 5:58 pm

Alicia is SO awesome! What a wonderful post! Alicia those are some damn awesome tips girl, I also love the love you have! You and your guy are so sweet! <3

Beautiful post with beautiful messages!

StoriesAndSweetPotatoes June 14, 2012 at 6:11 pm

I think all breakdowns lead to a breakthrough if you look hard enough. A lesson is always there if you want to learn it. Thank god because I sure do have my share of breakdowns.

Becky @ TheBexFactor.com June 14, 2012 at 6:26 pm

Great tips! And don’t worry, I wear leopard on leopard all the time too. ;-)

Alex @ therunwithin June 14, 2012 at 7:35 pm

WOW I LOVE all of these tips. I am going to check out her blog now!

purelylori June 14, 2012 at 7:52 pm

Great tips! Alicia sounds like a very wise person! Very true about we are worth living a happy and fulfilled life!! Well said

Abby @ Abz 'n' Oats June 14, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Great tips! Definitely got some thoughts rolling over here! :)

Lindsay @ Lindsay's List June 14, 2012 at 8:05 pm

YAY Alicia!! I’m actually listening to you talk right now on the conference call. HA!
Great, great post!! As a mom, I think it’s important to be just a little bit selfish with your time. Just a bit.

Maria June 14, 2012 at 8:39 pm

On the eve turning in my resignation at work tomorrow, I feel like this post couldn’t have come at a better time! I’m so happy that you’ve found happiness :)

Pam June 14, 2012 at 8:45 pm

Loved this post :)

Katie @ Talk Less, Say More June 14, 2012 at 8:57 pm

Alicia – I LOVE this! There are times that I feel guilty doing something for myself. I often hear the term “mommy guilt” and I think I get that even though I’m NOT a mommy. I’ve learned that there are times I have to be selfish and if the people i’m surrounding myself with truly care, they’ll understand if that means staying in on a Friday night in my pajamas versus joining them for a drink or dinner. Sometimes you just have to do what’s going to make YOU feel better in that moment. But this is an easy one to forget so it’s always good to be reminded. :)

Marisa June 14, 2012 at 11:31 pm

Whole heart this 3 things :)

Sara @ Nourish and Flourish June 15, 2012 at 12:42 am

Hi Alicia! Awesome post, girl! Janetha, she’s definitely earned a second guest feature. ;)

I couldn’t agree with you more on all three of these points! It’s so important to “own” who we are—not who somebody else wants us to be. We walk with a bounce in our step when we know we’re being true to ourselves—when we’re rocking brown with black, taking time to enjoy healthy food with the people we love, and (in my case) wearing bright pink or red lipstain because it makes me happy. :)

Congrats on coming so far over the past six months; it’s definitely something to celebrate! <3

Sarah @ The Healthy Diva June 15, 2012 at 12:51 am

I termed my breakdown my ‘quarter life crisis’ which happened back in 2009/2010. Times were tough and I was pretty unhappy for a long time. Turning point was taking matters into my own hands and realising that I need to focus on me and my future. And so here I am, back at school, blogging, freelance writing, and slowly learning how to take care of myself again. Thanks for the lovely post and sharing your story :)

Rocio June 15, 2012 at 6:33 am

Great Post!
Thank you for the last tip especially… I love that you said we should be selfish about what we eat. I’ve been having a little bit of a hard time with this because the people in my life do not eat the way I do. My husband and I have a pretty healthy diet and we eat things my extended family considers weird and to be honest it embarrasses me a bit. Thanks for making me see that I should own it because I’m doing what’s best for myself and my husband :)

Lauren @ Oatmeal after Spinning June 15, 2012 at 7:20 am

Yay for Alicia!! I just finished working out with you!
I love your take on three tip Thursday- and YOU! You wrote some really great words here. :)

Tamara June 15, 2012 at 7:27 am

These are incredible tips, Alicia! You have no reason to be nervous, you’re a great writer and have a lot of wonderful things to say!

I’m selfish with my time when it comes to my workouts, for sure. They make me feel so much better and give me more energy to give to those around me. And I recently became selfish about making time to cook and prepare my own meals most of the time. I used to think it was easier and more convenient to eat prepared, restaurant, and even fast foods, but in reality I deserve the time it takes to plan, shop for, prep and make my own food (which is not gourmet or fancy by any means, but it’s good all the same!).

I tend to do my own thing when it comes to my hair (which is not too crazy by any means — I’d love to go with a blue streak some time but that would not fly at my workplace — but I like to try new things fairly often; my positive outlook; and my unwavering belief that we can choose our own thoughts and attitudes as well as our actions. Choose happiness!

Hmm, I’ve had some breakdowns. I guess the biggest one that comes to mind is my separation and divorce in 2008. It was necessary and was my decision, but it was still a very difficult time and a stressful, sad experience. But it spawned so much growth, so many new friends and opportunities, and eventually a wonderful new marriage. It was definitely a breakdown that led to many terrific breakthroughs!

Lateisha Wells June 15, 2012 at 8:42 am

Alicia, you are AMAZING!! Thank you for the wonderful post. Your tips are very insightful and a great way to turn what I might think are negatives, into positives!

Calee June 15, 2012 at 8:59 am

I love the “it’s okay” theme for this. I have breakdowns often. It happens. :) Thanks for sharing, Alicia!

Annette@FitnessPerks June 15, 2012 at 9:00 am

Great post!! I agree –I am definitely selfish with my time. It’s so important to take care of ourselves so we can be better about helping others!

Dena @ 40 Fit in the Mitt June 15, 2012 at 9:12 am

Great post Alicia, I was so excited to read it this morning after hearing about it last night on the Fitmixer call. I am still learning to be selfish, the big word I am learning to use is NO. I still have a hard time using it, but I am getting better. It feels good to put me first for the first time, sometimes family and friends demand so much from us we forget to take care of ourselves. I also agree black and brown go together!

Nicole C June 15, 2012 at 9:27 am

I would like to be more selfish with my time in finding a charity to volunteer at. I have lots of free time and I know I could put it to better use.

My first thought about not being normal in society is not having kids. I am 30, I have 2 dogs and one boyfriend. I am perfectly fine with that. I feel out of place often when I am around my friends with kids but so far, it hasn’t changed my mind. I would rather spend my life traveling.

Do mini breakdowns count? Sometimes those are needed to help clear your head. No major ones though.

As for the leopard print, my mom would join your fan club. She has more leopard print than anyone I have ever seen. I feel like I am in a safari when I stay in her guest room.

Bethany June 15, 2012 at 9:47 am

“Selfish” is definitely an interesting way to look at that! It is so important to protect the emotional and physical health of you and your family! Great post!

Shaunna@mamas13minutemile June 15, 2012 at 10:05 am

Something weird is happening because all of these fitmixer girls are making me bawl like a tiny baby! So enlightening…. :)

Alicia June 15, 2012 at 4:11 pm

Oh, Shaunna! :) I cry too, a lot. It’s OK :)

Christin June 15, 2012 at 10:31 am

Wonderful post…hard for me to read because it was something I needed to hear. Thank you for that. :)

Megan @ Fiterature June 15, 2012 at 1:19 pm

I totally connect with the “wear black with brown” comment. I don’t know how many times people tell me “I love your _____ (haircut, horn-rimmed glasses, crazy shoes). I could NEVER pull that off!” Um, no one said I’m pulling it off…but I’m rockin’ it!!!!!

Val @ Tips on Healthy Living June 15, 2012 at 2:13 pm

I really appreciate the idea of making time for yourself and your health because you are worth it and deserve it. It’s so hard for many women not to be givers and that’s fine as long as you are giving to yourself as well, right?

Sierra June 16, 2012 at 5:43 am

Mental health is so important. You cannot put a price on happiness and it/s important to do whatever it is to make a life that you wake up to feeling good. I love this post and you DO NOT need to feel humiliated about a depression or anxiety. It’s life, we all have our issues. Working through them makes us who we are. Blogging will get easier…just stop caring what other’s think. Blog to get the words out and connect with others.

Becky@MunchingVeggies June 19, 2012 at 9:33 am

Great tips! Love #3 is so right on!

I had a breakdown (physical, emotional, mental) a couple years back. It’s when I decided to break with certain people, with my old ways of eating, with my life as it had become that led me to the breakdown! It’s all stuff I knew was WRONG in my life, but it took a breakdown to breakTHROUGH and put myself first.

“This is your one life, your one chance,so make sure you’re happy.” – Well said! Love it!

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