hey guys! i am loving the comments and conversation going on in my two most recent posts about baby making & the scale and about GI issues. your input has been awesome and i appreciate all the participation!
also, thank you for the well wishes on my internal issues. hoping to get to the bottom of them. i don’t want to be one of those “LOOK AT ME WITH MY GI ISSUES” type of people or cry wolf about a gluten/dairy/other food intolerance.
i wasn’t trying to get attention or sympathy about the situation and will only blog about it when i find out something new or something significant happens. we all know how annoying it can be to read unnecessary complaining.
well, today i have a wedding.. jessica & simon are getting hitched! i will be back tomorrow with a recap of the big event.. so until then, enjoy this random edition of funny email friday!
remember how i told you i get random funny emails and save them just because they are so funny? well i was cleaning out my inbox yesterday and came across this gem sent to me by the one and only momma b. if at least ONE thing on this list doesn’t make you laugh, i question your sense of humor.
*note: i didn’t write these and i don’t know who did. it came to me in email form and has probably been passed around for a long, long time. no idea who to give credit to!
- I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
- Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
- I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
- There is great need for a sarcasm font.
- How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
- Was learning cursive really necessary?
- Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
- Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
- I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
- Bad decisions make good stories.
- You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
- Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.
- I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
- I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
- I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
- I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
- I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
- I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
- How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?
- I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
- Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever..
- Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
- Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
- People who forward e- mail without deleting the tons of previous recipients should be shot and then tarred and feathered.
- The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. Ladies quit laughing!
my favorites were #2, #9, #11, #14, #16 and #18. i can relate SO much! hilarious.
in other news, the woman behind renew life (which i blogged about here), brenda watson, will be holding a webinar on tuesday, september 27th.
brenda watson is an educational speaker on all things having to do with your guts. i have actually been perusing her website a lot lately due to my own GI issues. her webinar, “Sick and Tired of the Health System Runaround?”
from the webinar website:
Do you or someone you know suffer from any of these seemingly unrelated health issues?
Are you sick and tired of getting the runaround? “We just can’t seem to figure out what’s bothering you…” Yet, you know something is out of whack!
Your digestive tract is that complex, yet it’s largely ignored during routine check-ups. Your health professional may ask you a quick question about your diet or nutrition habits and then it’s on to other topics.
There is H.O.P.E! – Your Personalized Health Consultation
I’m offering a one-day-only H.O.P.E. Webinar that goes in-depth into one of my most popular PBS television specials to really tackle the health issues that are plaguing so many of us. Don’t miss your chance to:
- Unravel common health “mysteries” and the digestive system’s health secrets
- Learn why what you don’t know could be sabotaging your health
- And for the first time ever, ask me your specific health questions and get live answers in my extended 40-minute Q&A session!
- Connect the dots and discover the extraordinary benefits of powerful and nourishing digestive nutrients – High Fiber, Omega Oils, Probiotics, and Enzymes
do you have any funny adult truths to share with the class?
xo. janetha g.