guest post!—>eden d.

by Janetha on March 19, 2011

in meals

hey guys. i have some serious stuff going on right now and eden was nice enough to send over a guest post right away. just another reason i love, love, love this community.

here’s eden.

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Hey Meals and Moves readers!

My name is Eden and before I begin, I feel the need to put a disclaimer that sarcasm is my first language (cynicism is my second).

Just a little about me: I guess I am what you would consider to be a “food blogger” but not in the traditional sense. I’m a professionally trained chef and work as a private chef. I could go on and on about my fabulosity, but you can just go read my blog to get in on that.

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Anyhow….on my blog, I often like to write about blogging! So I thought why not list some things that differentiates a blogger from a chef, since I’ve basically played both sides of the field.

On meal timing…

Chefs: Most chefs work late hours. I don’t, since I don’t work in a restaurant, but when I did, I didn’t get home until at least eleven. So they tend to eat late. They are kind of like vampires only not as sexy.

Bloggers: Bloggers like to wake up at the wee hours of the morning to workout and do photoshoots of their oatmeal. The early morning usually offers the best lighting for the food porn for their blog. So meal times with food bloggers is usually early.

On Patience:

Chefs: Most chefs are impatient. I know I sure am. This is why they never just sit and wait for water to boil. They’re always trying to multi-task and do twenty things at once. But like the iPhone, they somehow manage to pull it off. There is no idle time when an order is being made in a restaurant. Sit and wait, and you’ll get fired!

Bloggers: Bloggers need to be patient. First of all, if you’re a new blogger, you cant expect to get your book deal overnight. Second, most blogger has some sort of “health” challenge whether it be giving up carbs or running a marathon and usually that doesn’t happen overnight either. Third, when you eat out with a blogger, you REALLY need to be patient because you will only get to eat the food once the 30 min photo session of the food is completed. I suggest you order something cold.

On Substitutions

Chefs: Most chefs hate substitutions like Charlie Sheen hates Dr. Drew. They simply find them ridiculous. Nothing peeves a chef more than having someone order the beef wellington minus the pastry (too many carbs), minus the butter (vegan), minus the mushrooms (because its fungi), minus the beef (once again, vegan). They don’t mind a few tweaks, but they don’t like it when you re-write the menu.

Bloggers: Bloggers thrive off substitutions. Otherwise, they’d just be copying someone else’s oats-in-a-jar. Plus, having gluten, meat, carb, sugar, fat, trans-fat, dairy, nut, free anything on your blog automatically triples your traffic. Seriously!

On Free Time:

Chefs: As I mentioned chefs work late, so most of the their spare time is spent sleeping. And you wanna hear something crazy? Of course you do! Lots of chefs smoke (gross, I know). But here is maybe where they overlap with food bloggers, they love farmers markets and a lot of their spare time is spent browsing the local produce and getting their fix of free samples.

Bloggers: Bloggers have an array of things they do on their downtime, it depends on the blogger. Most have a dog (or dogs, like janetha!) and will spend time playing with them. Some blogger have, gasp, KIDS! Like I mentioned some are out their running marathons and traveling making all their readers insanely jealous. But I’m sure a lot of their time is spend promoting their own blog on twitter, facebook, and of course, on other blogs! And sometimes, you’ll indeed find them getting their samples, with the chefs.

Questions (because Meals and Moves always has them!):

1) Are you more of a chef or blogger? I think I’m a good combination of both. I don’t smoke but I don’t run marathons!

2) And to be random, whether you are a blogger or a reader, if you got a book deal, what would you name your book? I actually am in the process of writing a book (not really a “food” book, more of a life as a chef overcoming an eating disorder book) and I’m constantly thinking about the title, but its between “Don’t Bother Me, I’m Eating” and “Never Trust a Skinny Chef”.

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thanks so much, eden! hope everyone has a great weekend and i hope to be back soon.

xo. janetha g.

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Lee March 19, 2011 at 5:12 pm

Hope everything is okay, Janetha.

Evan Thomas March 19, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Hope everything is Ok with you, Janetha!
Love this guest post. Hard to believe it was last minute. I totally think of chefs as vampires with all the sexiness and more.

sabrinarella March 19, 2011 at 5:17 pm

We’re keeping you in mind Janetha.. we’re here for you!

Denise March 19, 2011 at 5:35 pm

Praying for you Janetha – hope all is okay.

Great post! I am a reader and mother of a blogger. If I wrote a book it would be called
“Wow, Wonder How I Raised Such Great Kids!

Abby March 19, 2011 at 5:42 pm

Hope all is okay Janetha!

Great post Eden! Nothing like sarcasm–I LOVE it! :)

rebecca lustig March 19, 2011 at 6:06 pm

Janetha, I hope youre doing ok, I’m keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Eden, Love the parallels between chefs and bloggers! Very creative

Karen March 19, 2011 at 6:11 pm

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers!

julie March 19, 2011 at 6:17 pm

hahahahahahah seriously love your face (well both of yours)

hahaha i’m a chefogger. or just neither. i’m a blogger but if i got a book deal it would be the worst decision of anyone in the world and if i was a chef it would be equally as terrible

but if i got a book i would call it “the sexy life of a non-chefogger”

Sonia @ Master of Her Romaine March 19, 2011 at 6:41 pm

Hope everything is okay!
Love this guest post- can’t believe it’s last minute…I would have taken an eternity to get all of that down.
I don’t know what I am in terms of chef or blogger. I love to cook but I’m by no means a professional. I don’t think I’d survive in culinary school as I’m a vegetarian and have little to no interest in preparing meat or seafood. But, I don’t wake up early and eat oatmeal..I don’t run marathons…and I don’t have a dog (I wish I did!).
I’m just a grad student who loves to cook and eat good food, and I occasionally work out.

If I had a book I’d title it with the same name as my blog: Master of Her Romaine :)

Can’t wait to check out your blog!

Averie (LoveVeggiesAndYoga) March 19, 2011 at 6:44 pm

Janetha, if you need anything, email me. I am here for you!

Eden..as always, LOVE your sarcasm and wit. And you’re spot on with everything you said!

I am a mix. I never used to care about pics, but now, i time my special recipes to be photographed during the daylight.

However, my daily eats are usually eaten at vampire hours so the photos are not as good.

I am a bit of both chef and blogger.

And good luck with you book!!!!! Sounds awesome :)

Cindy March 19, 2011 at 7:14 pm

hope everything is OK Janetha!!

Tay March 19, 2011 at 7:33 pm

Hey girl – hope all is well and okay!!

emily March 19, 2011 at 8:06 pm

Janetha – I hope everything is ok.

Eden – You’re freaking hysterical!

edenseats March 19, 2011 at 9:42 pm

why thank you! I don’t know about the “hysterical” part but I’m for sure “freaky”

cleaneatingchelsey March 19, 2011 at 8:15 pm

I hope everything is okay!

Great guest post Eden!

Nicole M. G. March 19, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Great guest post!

Hope all is well! We all look forward to hearing from you again! Take care, girl!

Heather March 19, 2011 at 8:44 pm

Hey, Janetha, hope things are all right and settle down soon! (I’ve been reading your posts for ages by the way.)

To answer Eden’s first question – I’m definitely more of a chef!
The second question takes much more pondering though.

Great guest post, Eden. I follow your blog as well so it’s cool to see you in here!

Missy March 19, 2011 at 8:52 pm

Ha! Love having one of my favorite bloggers on another favorite ones blog! This is too funny – as usual the Eden sassometer is hitting high!

I am neither a chef (except in my mind) nor a blogger – but I am a “professional blog reader”! (Maybe they’ll coin a name for us blog lurkers- not groupies, but bloggies??) But since I am not a blogger, I am eons from ever landing a book deal. But if I had a blog and wrote a book I guess it could be called “Don’t hate me ’cause I’m blogiful” or “Tales of the Blogness Monster”!

Janetha – I may or may not have commented on your blog before but I read it every day (and LOVE IT) and just want you to know that I am praying for you and your family. Stay strong!
Missy

paijery March 19, 2011 at 9:17 pm

Eden: I just went over and lurked your blog! LOVE your sense of humor and your writing style :) :) Adding you to my google reader!!

Janetha: Love you friend!! Praying for you and your fam! Hope everything is ok!! <3 xoxo

cbrady3 March 19, 2011 at 10:09 pm

Janetha – in my prayers.
Eden – hilarious post! I’m definitely more of a blogger.
And NO CLUE what I’d title my book. I’d have to figure out what it was about first!

Pure2raw twins March 20, 2011 at 4:21 am

Janetha – you and your family are in our prayers!!! Thinking of you.

Eden – you know we love ya!! :)

The Teenage Taste March 20, 2011 at 5:06 am

Hope everythings OK Janetha! :]

Great post Eden! I’d have to say I’m 60% blogger and 40% chef. ;]

kissmybroccoli March 20, 2011 at 6:25 am

Hope everything works out alright, Janetha! Definitely thinking about ya!

Great guest post! I am definitely a blogger…I’ve eaten way too many cold dishes that started out piping hot not to be!

Love the bit about the beef wellington! Haha!

Annie March 20, 2011 at 7:42 am

I hope everything is ok, Janetha.

Michelle March 20, 2011 at 7:44 am

Janetha – you’re definitely in my thoughts. I hope all is okay!

Eden – you’re hilarious. Loved this guest post. I’m going to check out your blog now!

thedelicateplace March 20, 2011 at 8:04 am

def a wannabe chef, i’m more focused on technique sometimes than flavors which can be bad. i guess i’ts the scientist in me but my husband is on the flavor patrol. i think that’s what helps keep our meals in check! it’s already been done but something along the lines of skinny girls are bitches because it’s mostly true! cranky pants because they don’t eat enough!

Carbzilla March 20, 2011 at 9:03 am

Great post, Eden!

Hang in there, J! Our thoughts are with you and your family.

Sara March 20, 2011 at 9:16 am

I love “Never Trust a Skinny Chef” – my boyfriend actually says things like that a lot. “That guy is too skinny to tell ME about food” haha. Good luck with your book, and cute post! :)

edenseats March 20, 2011 at 12:20 pm

I hate guys! they can eat the whole menu at McDonalds and loose weight!

katshealthcorner March 20, 2011 at 10:12 am

I’m thinking about you Janetha! I hope everything turns out! :)

I would say I’m a Blogger. :) Definitely. ;)

xoxox
Kathleen

Kelie March 20, 2011 at 10:40 am

LONG time lurker here – as in I found you around November through Danica and went back and read all your archives so I could catch up. Some say stalker, I say curious. Either way I’ve loved getting to know you if only in cyberspace. Sending you prayers and hugs – hope all is well with you and yours.

Holly March 20, 2011 at 10:51 am

Janetha I hope all is well! Take care.

enjoyingthechaos March 20, 2011 at 10:58 am

Janetha..sending good luck dust your way..hoping everything is well with you are your family…

Eden..love you blog..

my book would totally be Enjoying the Choas..lol..cause I am totally enjoying every chaotic moment of my busy life…:)

coffeeandthepaper March 20, 2011 at 11:00 am

Eden, you know I adore you.

Working as a waitress, I think that your assessments of chefs are pretty darn accurate. Especially the smoking thing. I wonder why that is? Stress of the job I’d imagine. And your assessment of bloggers? Hilarious.

Although I am both to some degree, I’m not sure how much I identify with either chefs or bloggers. Probably more of a blogger since I do that every day. Most days I just eat the same thing, and I rarely cook anything fancy!

edenseats March 20, 2011 at 12:24 pm

Most chefs dont cook anything fancy for themselves either! bloggers cook fancier things! At the end of the day, all they want is to eat, sleep and maybe get down and dirty with their significant other! lol. My favorite chef instructor from culinary school told me he has stouffers mac n cheese every night!

Kelly March 20, 2011 at 1:35 pm

I remember watching Top Chef and on the contestants said that all she ever cooks for herself when she isn’t working is cereal. She was like I cook for people all day long and when I get home I eat cereal and call it a night.

Barbara March 20, 2011 at 11:59 am

Sending you all my love. Hope everything works out! Sending you inner-strength, health, patience and courage! We are all thinking of you!
Barbara

Jess March 20, 2011 at 12:13 pm

Hope you are doing okay, Janetha.

Great post, Eden! I think I am a good mix of both. I am pretty impatient, and I don’t run marathons- but I have my blogger tendencies, too.

fightingwithfood March 20, 2011 at 12:43 pm

Sending lots of thoughts your way, Janetha!
This was a great guest post. I got quite a chuckle out of it. I’m definitely more cook than blogger (and far from a chef). I’d live in a kitchen if I could and experiment daily if I had unlimited resources and funding.

lynn @ the actor's diet March 20, 2011 at 12:49 pm

i hope things are okay, janetha. great guest post, eden!

Kelly March 20, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Hope everything is okay Janetha!

Eden….great post!

1970kikiproject March 20, 2011 at 3:06 pm

thinking of you, janetha…
eden, i enjoy your fresh and honest writing style – glad you could pitch in and help janetha out!

movesnmunchies March 20, 2011 at 3:34 pm

love your post! oh im def more of a blogger- chef no wayyy!!!

Deb (SmoothieGirlEatsToo) March 20, 2011 at 5:28 pm

Eden- so funny- love the Beef wellington de-construction. hilarious.

Janeetha- soooo many hugs and good thoughts your way.

Ciria March 22, 2011 at 8:56 am

I’ll definetely read your blog Eden. Loved your sense of humor :D

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